Hello everyone. It's been far too long. I guess we're both to blame, me for not writing my blog and you for not reading it. It's ok though, I'm back. At least for this week. I can't promise that you'll be interested in the content, or that it will be well organized, or that it will be funny to anyone besides me. So yeah, it's pretty much the same as it has always been.
So I'll go into the reasons why I need to get back to writing a little bit more regularly. I no longer have a no holds barred, say anything I darn well please vent for all of the pent up anger and aggression that you all know I am so filled with. But not really. Second, nobody else really cares about the Broncos, so this is my forum to discuss them where you can just scroll past the whole thing and then I can pretend you read that section. But most of all, the reason why I created the blog in the first place, Syracuse football, is having their best season since their war against Carthage in 300 BC. For serious, at this point in the season, not only have we won the most games we have won in a season since 2004 when we went 6-6.
It's starting to come back to me now a little bit. I did put some non-sports stuff in here now and then, didn't I? Well, in honor of my fellow blogger Frank Warren, creator of Post Secret, I'll give a shout out. He came to speak at Syracuse last week and I have to say that he is one of the most normal people I have ever met. I mean that as a compliment. He is known by millions, trusted with their deepest secrets, and he doesn't let it go to his head at all. Every person he talks to is the most important person to him, every secret worth his time. I stood in line after his talk in which he reminded me of myself fidgeting and moving around during class. In the first 20 minutes I moved forward about a foot, maybe less because the line was going so slow. A friend involved with setting up the event came to talk to me while I was in line and said that Frank's itinerary had him going back to his hotel in about 10 minutes. I looked ahead of me and saw about 75 people in line. I am proud to say that Frank got to every single one of them, never making any impatient gestures, never turning aside anyone who wanted to talk to him, and giving his full attention to each person. When it was my turn, I talked to Frank for about 30 seconds. He kept eye contact, made me feel like I was the only person in the room, and just listened. I left the short conversation in awe of the fact that after 5 years of secrets from thousands of people, he could make me feel like he truly cared. I applaud Frank and all that he does, hoping I can find something in my life that means as much to me as Post Secret does to him.
Moving on, remember how I said I wasn't getting my hopes up about the Broncos this year? Like how I knew they were going to suck and I would wait until they got good players? Well, long story short, I lied. My hopes got high, and they've been dashed again and again. The most recent triumph of the universe over the Broncos was a game that I have and will describe as a sledgehammer to the nuts. Oakland Raiders 59, Denver Broncos 14. I first saw the score about 8 minutes into the game, Denver down 21-0. I thought it was a mistake, or a horrible system malfunction, or the Matrix taking over my mind or something. But alas, it was true. I tortured myself by keeping an eye on the game, but now I know what our true goal for this year is. Suck a lot, get a good draft pick, and spend it on a kicker or a blocking tight end or something. Gotta love them Broncos.
Howwwwwever, the Syracuse Orange have been a bright ray of sunshine into the F5 tornado that is my sports world. Going into this year, I had higher hopes for the Orange. My arch-nemesis Greg Paulus had finally thrown his last no-look bounce pass for the Orange. We had a solid defense comprised mainly of converted running backs and wide receivers. We play in the world's suckiest football conference. The only potential downside to this year is that our starting running back was a jerk who punches people in the face and gets away with it. I'm talking about you, Delone Carter. No matter what "punishment" you got for your actions, there's nothing that can be done to make you an upstanding citizen again. On the absolute contrary to Carter is Syracuse's other RB, Antwon Bailey. I have got to say that I'm terribly impressed by him. My experience with athletes in class is that they never go. Not even if it is the world's easiest class and you don't have to do any work for it. So when I found out Bailey was in my Sport Finance class, I had low expectations for him. To my surprise, he has actually showed up to class, answered questions, and, as far as I know, contributed to his group project. To be a key player to a college football team (now ranked 29 by the AP I might add) and to still feel like class is a priority is a pleasant surprise to me in a world where academics come second at nearly every Division 1 school to sports. It is a world of polar opposites in the Syracuse backfield, with a drunken idiot and an upstanding student. My opinion is this: Carter stinks! Support Antwon Bailey, the true Hogwarts champion! And now that Carter is injured, my painful second thoughts about the team might finally be relieved.
I think that's enough for today, thanks for still coming back after all we haven't been through over the summer and the beginning of this year. Stay classy, Syracuse/Boston/Philadelphia/Clifton Park/anywhere else you might be!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Teboned
Good morning everyone! Or afternoon, evening, or 3:00 in the morning, whichever it happens to be when you feast your eyes on this deluxe version of the blog that is about one month in the making. I doubt I can make up for the unlimited amount of pain and suffering you all have felt each day when you found out that I didn't post anything new that week. But I can try. And there have been some interesting things going on around here lately. Just kidding, we all know that my life is wicked boring and nothing exciting ever happens to me, I just like to make it seem like that by writing about it every single week. Regardless, our trek through the world's events must return all the way back to the NFL Draft in April...I know, didn't think I could remember back that far, did you?
The Broncos drafted Tim Tebow, sidearm throwing, jump-pass making, linebacker-looking, jerkface of a quarterback out of Florida, the one non-Big East school that I truly hate. Had to get that out of the way. I threw up in my mouth a little bit when I typed it and I can feel some wooziness and a high fever coming on as we speak. The kicker, though, is despite the fact that the Broncos started out with two first round picks (11th and 14th), they ended up trading about 14,000 times on the first day, moving down in the first round, moving out of the first round, and giving up about 3 more picks to move back into the first round to get Tebow 25th. The word on the street is that Tebow was such an attractive option because his character was in order (no complaints here, at least we won't get another whiny baby like Jay Cutler) and that he'd changed his throwing motion to one more conventional and conducive to professional football. In regards to that, assuming he's been throwing a football since he was 5, that's about 17 or 18 years of throwing the ball sidearm. So yes, I'm sure 2 months of practice will defeat all of his bad habits that he has had his entire life. That would be like me practicing for two months to never use the word "the" in conversation. Sure it would work out sometimes, like in this sentence perhaps, but in the (damn) long run, I would relapse under pressure when it matters most. Not a perfect comparison but good enough.
There are two theories on why the Broncos decided to pick Tebow. I'll start with the undoubtedly negative and horrible one first, and then move on the the extremely cheesy and optimistic one. Anyone who knows about the Broncos knows about their tradition of getting my hopes up and then cruelly dashing them again and again. I think I've told this story before, but it all comes together I promise. Two years ago, the Broncos made history by giving away a 3 game lead with 3 games to play. Yeah, they were the first team ever to do that. Like having the Guiness world record for longest time staying awake. Sure you get recognized for something, that's positive. But it leaves you wanting to just lie down somewhere and not talk to anybody for a month. Last year, Denver made no history but had an arguably more impressive collapse. They started 6-0, the playoffs were a certainty, their coach was a genius, we couldn't be happier. Before we knew it, 2 wins and 8 losses later, we once again were golfing in January. Here's where the theory comes in. The Broncos drafted Tebow to make him our quarterback and go 0-16 to top all of our previous failures once and for all. Then again, can you call it a collapse if you never had any hopes to begin with?
Theory number 2: The Broncos are in fact the TC Williams high school football team from Remember the Titans. A new guy moves into town and wants to play quarterback. At first, you have your doubts. He's not a classic quarterback, doesn't have all the moves down that most QB's do, but he's athletic and can be trained. This comes in the midst of a change of head coaches and all of the players are on edge. One of the main characters gets kicked off the team (or traded in the Broncos' case). The coach looks for players with integrity and desperately tries to hold the team together. He also wants to win. No matter what. Quote: "We're just trying to win a mother f***ing game!" The previous statements are all true for both teams now. Here's what will be true. In the championship game, the quarterback stars on defense as well as offense, and Tim Tebow could do just that. He's built like a linebacker with a neck like a Doric column. He will be able to lead block for the Fake 23 Blast with a Backside George Reverse just like Sunshine did for the Titans. Last play of the Super Bowl with time winding down, put the ball in the hands of Kyle Orton and he will run 75 yards for a touchdown, no doubt about that. So Tim Tebow is the key to winning the Virginia high school football state championship. That's what I've determined, and the Broncos are finally going to have some hardware at the end of the season.
One more bit of sports before we move on. This no longer is applicable, but it was at one time. The NHL has proven to be much more efficient in running its postseason than the NBA. NBA playoffs are the most ridiculously drawn out and unnecessarily long postseason of any sports league ever. Including this one. The playoffs started in April when I was still not worried about my final exams and will not conclude until over a month after I get home in late June. NHL playoffs aren't too much better, but hear this. The first round of NHL games were over, with two series lasting 7 games, before the NBA even had all of their series play 5 games. There were numerous occasions where teams would have two off days in a row. That never ever happens in the regular season. Take notes on how the NCAA does basketball. 3 weekends, 6 rounds, best sports event ever. If I wanted to watch something that lasted two months I would watch the World Cup twice. Once in English and once en Espanol. You know why. Goooooooooaallllll!!!!!
On another topic that has absolutely nothing to do with anything I've been talking about, I recently began to suspect that fire alarms are not totally being used what they were meant for. I came to this conclusion whilst at Syracuse and had some very bad experiences with said alarms. Way way back in freshman year (I know, I can't believe it either), I lived in a dorm that had more "fires" in one year than any building ever in the history of the world. It seemed like every night we would be awakened by a shrill siren and a cheery "Attention: an emergency has been reported in the building. Do not use elevators. Have a nice day, and good luck taking your midterm tomorrow on 3 hours of sleep!" I managed to avoid every single alarm in my building this year besides the 11 PM one where it was snowing and I was in sandals, but I'll mark it down as a win. However, the dorms weren't my problem this year. One day I was in Whitman where they had a fire drill, walked across the street where the alarm of the building I walked into promptly went off inside of 5 minutes later. First, what is the point of a fire drill? Most people get told when they're happening, fail to take them seriously, and end up staying in their room with the door locked and the lights off. This attitude just so happens to carry over to every single burnt popcorn/pot smoking/birthday candle incident that the super-sophisticated systems at the Cuse pick up and determine are about to burn down every building on campus. Not a fan. I'm not saying that there isn't a chance of a fire in a dorm. I'm saying that by now most people know how to get out of a building and that you should just get off our backs about it.
As you may know, I like chicken nuggets a fair amount. Alright alright, I would walk back to Cuse from Clifton Park barefoot if I found out they were serving chicken nuggets. However, I would have some trouble believing SU Food Services if they said they were for lunch today. Here's the story. At the end of the year, Syracuse does students the favor of helping them to procrastinate studying for their finals with study breaks, serving some food between 9:30 and midnight. They even tell you beforehand about the food that will be served during each of the breaks. Imagine my surprise when I walk into the dining hall in April, look up at the monitor, and see that Tuesday, May 11 is finger food day, with special guest chicken nuggets. I immediately checked off the date on my calendar and got ready by washing all of my tupperware and clearing out a backpack to put all of my nugg conquests in to hold me over for the summer. This was a unique opportunity. First semester, the dining hall had nuggs every Tuesday like clockwork. Second semester, not so much. Every other week, sometimes Mondays, sometimes Thursdays, they were like lightning. You'd never know where they were going to be or when they were going to be there. Well, when they tell you where the nuggs are going to be, we have a Back to the Future situation on our hands. The only way to know where lightning is going to strike is if it hits a clock tower, freezing it at the exact time it strikes, and you get a pamphlet on said clock tower's illustrious history. Oh, and you have to have a time machine to go back to the strike itself. Well, the study break was my time machine and Ernie Davis dining hall was my clock tower about to get struck by the golden brown lightning that is chicken nuggets. I spent weeks preparing for the moment, getting ready for the one-point-twenty one jiggawatts of deliciousness I was about to harness. Only one problem. Food services neglected to tell me that when they said they were serving chicken nuggets at the study break, they actually meant that there would be no chicken nuggets to be found. So yeah, just a little bitter over that little incident.
One more thing to conclude this rapidly lengthening and making up for the month of lost time post. I recently went to Boston to visit my best friend with another one of my best friends. They both are Red Sox fans. I am a Twins fan. So, obviously, we went to see a Red Sox vs. Twins game. Mistake on my part, as the Twins decided not to try. At all. They did get a couple people on base the first few innings. However, they legitimately managed to hit into double plays every single time. And the Sox had no problems hitting homeruns every inning or two, and soon enough I left Fenway Park with a sense of disappointment and disdain. Only thing that made up for it was the fact that after the game, I was having chicken quesadillas with two of my best friends who...sniff sniff...I will not be seeing very mush of this summer. So here's a shout out to you two who made that a great two days and who I will miss terribly this summer.
Oh, I almost forgot. There was an impasse between who of us visitors would sleep on the couch and who would sleep on the floor. My friend said we should devise some sort of challenge, the winner of which would get the couch. I didn't think we'd have too much trouble thinking of one. While waiting for the quesadillas to cook, we played a game of HORSE with a ping pong ball and a glass of water. But, when the time came for a real challenge with real consequences, I thought of something better. After watching some How I Met Your Mother, I got a hankering to slap someone. So I told my friend that if he let me slap him in the face, he could sleep on the couch. He agreed. What followed was one of the greatest moments in my life. Not that I have anything against my friend, but that slap was so amazingly awesome that I think I may have just had an epiphany to solve the American economy because of it.
We need to gradually ween the US off of the dollar onto a new currency. Slaps. When you go to the grocery store, you get slapped twice to buy eggs, once for a candy bar, and so on. We could even implement fractional slaps. If they slap you above what the item costs, your change is slapping them back. You could take out loans if your face hurts too much and pay back a few slaps per month with interest. People would be a lot more careful about what they spend their slaps on, because impulse shoppers would just get pummeled every time they go out shopping. This system would foster savings, financial preparation for the future, and an overall toughening up of the cupcakes we call Americans. I don't see a single problem with it, and I think President Obama should consider setting the wheels in motion. Yes We Can...get slapped in the face.
The Broncos drafted Tim Tebow, sidearm throwing, jump-pass making, linebacker-looking, jerkface of a quarterback out of Florida, the one non-Big East school that I truly hate. Had to get that out of the way. I threw up in my mouth a little bit when I typed it and I can feel some wooziness and a high fever coming on as we speak. The kicker, though, is despite the fact that the Broncos started out with two first round picks (11th and 14th), they ended up trading about 14,000 times on the first day, moving down in the first round, moving out of the first round, and giving up about 3 more picks to move back into the first round to get Tebow 25th. The word on the street is that Tebow was such an attractive option because his character was in order (no complaints here, at least we won't get another whiny baby like Jay Cutler) and that he'd changed his throwing motion to one more conventional and conducive to professional football. In regards to that, assuming he's been throwing a football since he was 5, that's about 17 or 18 years of throwing the ball sidearm. So yes, I'm sure 2 months of practice will defeat all of his bad habits that he has had his entire life. That would be like me practicing for two months to never use the word "the" in conversation. Sure it would work out sometimes, like in this sentence perhaps, but in the (damn) long run, I would relapse under pressure when it matters most. Not a perfect comparison but good enough.
There are two theories on why the Broncos decided to pick Tebow. I'll start with the undoubtedly negative and horrible one first, and then move on the the extremely cheesy and optimistic one. Anyone who knows about the Broncos knows about their tradition of getting my hopes up and then cruelly dashing them again and again. I think I've told this story before, but it all comes together I promise. Two years ago, the Broncos made history by giving away a 3 game lead with 3 games to play. Yeah, they were the first team ever to do that. Like having the Guiness world record for longest time staying awake. Sure you get recognized for something, that's positive. But it leaves you wanting to just lie down somewhere and not talk to anybody for a month. Last year, Denver made no history but had an arguably more impressive collapse. They started 6-0, the playoffs were a certainty, their coach was a genius, we couldn't be happier. Before we knew it, 2 wins and 8 losses later, we once again were golfing in January. Here's where the theory comes in. The Broncos drafted Tebow to make him our quarterback and go 0-16 to top all of our previous failures once and for all. Then again, can you call it a collapse if you never had any hopes to begin with?
Theory number 2: The Broncos are in fact the TC Williams high school football team from Remember the Titans. A new guy moves into town and wants to play quarterback. At first, you have your doubts. He's not a classic quarterback, doesn't have all the moves down that most QB's do, but he's athletic and can be trained. This comes in the midst of a change of head coaches and all of the players are on edge. One of the main characters gets kicked off the team (or traded in the Broncos' case). The coach looks for players with integrity and desperately tries to hold the team together. He also wants to win. No matter what. Quote: "We're just trying to win a mother f***ing game!" The previous statements are all true for both teams now. Here's what will be true. In the championship game, the quarterback stars on defense as well as offense, and Tim Tebow could do just that. He's built like a linebacker with a neck like a Doric column. He will be able to lead block for the Fake 23 Blast with a Backside George Reverse just like Sunshine did for the Titans. Last play of the Super Bowl with time winding down, put the ball in the hands of Kyle Orton and he will run 75 yards for a touchdown, no doubt about that. So Tim Tebow is the key to winning the Virginia high school football state championship. That's what I've determined, and the Broncos are finally going to have some hardware at the end of the season.
One more bit of sports before we move on. This no longer is applicable, but it was at one time. The NHL has proven to be much more efficient in running its postseason than the NBA. NBA playoffs are the most ridiculously drawn out and unnecessarily long postseason of any sports league ever. Including this one. The playoffs started in April when I was still not worried about my final exams and will not conclude until over a month after I get home in late June. NHL playoffs aren't too much better, but hear this. The first round of NHL games were over, with two series lasting 7 games, before the NBA even had all of their series play 5 games. There were numerous occasions where teams would have two off days in a row. That never ever happens in the regular season. Take notes on how the NCAA does basketball. 3 weekends, 6 rounds, best sports event ever. If I wanted to watch something that lasted two months I would watch the World Cup twice. Once in English and once en Espanol. You know why. Goooooooooaallllll!!!!!
On another topic that has absolutely nothing to do with anything I've been talking about, I recently began to suspect that fire alarms are not totally being used what they were meant for. I came to this conclusion whilst at Syracuse and had some very bad experiences with said alarms. Way way back in freshman year (I know, I can't believe it either), I lived in a dorm that had more "fires" in one year than any building ever in the history of the world. It seemed like every night we would be awakened by a shrill siren and a cheery "Attention: an emergency has been reported in the building. Do not use elevators. Have a nice day, and good luck taking your midterm tomorrow on 3 hours of sleep!" I managed to avoid every single alarm in my building this year besides the 11 PM one where it was snowing and I was in sandals, but I'll mark it down as a win. However, the dorms weren't my problem this year. One day I was in Whitman where they had a fire drill, walked across the street where the alarm of the building I walked into promptly went off inside of 5 minutes later. First, what is the point of a fire drill? Most people get told when they're happening, fail to take them seriously, and end up staying in their room with the door locked and the lights off. This attitude just so happens to carry over to every single burnt popcorn/pot smoking/birthday candle incident that the super-sophisticated systems at the Cuse pick up and determine are about to burn down every building on campus. Not a fan. I'm not saying that there isn't a chance of a fire in a dorm. I'm saying that by now most people know how to get out of a building and that you should just get off our backs about it.
As you may know, I like chicken nuggets a fair amount. Alright alright, I would walk back to Cuse from Clifton Park barefoot if I found out they were serving chicken nuggets. However, I would have some trouble believing SU Food Services if they said they were for lunch today. Here's the story. At the end of the year, Syracuse does students the favor of helping them to procrastinate studying for their finals with study breaks, serving some food between 9:30 and midnight. They even tell you beforehand about the food that will be served during each of the breaks. Imagine my surprise when I walk into the dining hall in April, look up at the monitor, and see that Tuesday, May 11 is finger food day, with special guest chicken nuggets. I immediately checked off the date on my calendar and got ready by washing all of my tupperware and clearing out a backpack to put all of my nugg conquests in to hold me over for the summer. This was a unique opportunity. First semester, the dining hall had nuggs every Tuesday like clockwork. Second semester, not so much. Every other week, sometimes Mondays, sometimes Thursdays, they were like lightning. You'd never know where they were going to be or when they were going to be there. Well, when they tell you where the nuggs are going to be, we have a Back to the Future situation on our hands. The only way to know where lightning is going to strike is if it hits a clock tower, freezing it at the exact time it strikes, and you get a pamphlet on said clock tower's illustrious history. Oh, and you have to have a time machine to go back to the strike itself. Well, the study break was my time machine and Ernie Davis dining hall was my clock tower about to get struck by the golden brown lightning that is chicken nuggets. I spent weeks preparing for the moment, getting ready for the one-point-twenty one jiggawatts of deliciousness I was about to harness. Only one problem. Food services neglected to tell me that when they said they were serving chicken nuggets at the study break, they actually meant that there would be no chicken nuggets to be found. So yeah, just a little bitter over that little incident.
One more thing to conclude this rapidly lengthening and making up for the month of lost time post. I recently went to Boston to visit my best friend with another one of my best friends. They both are Red Sox fans. I am a Twins fan. So, obviously, we went to see a Red Sox vs. Twins game. Mistake on my part, as the Twins decided not to try. At all. They did get a couple people on base the first few innings. However, they legitimately managed to hit into double plays every single time. And the Sox had no problems hitting homeruns every inning or two, and soon enough I left Fenway Park with a sense of disappointment and disdain. Only thing that made up for it was the fact that after the game, I was having chicken quesadillas with two of my best friends who...sniff sniff...I will not be seeing very mush of this summer. So here's a shout out to you two who made that a great two days and who I will miss terribly this summer.
Oh, I almost forgot. There was an impasse between who of us visitors would sleep on the couch and who would sleep on the floor. My friend said we should devise some sort of challenge, the winner of which would get the couch. I didn't think we'd have too much trouble thinking of one. While waiting for the quesadillas to cook, we played a game of HORSE with a ping pong ball and a glass of water. But, when the time came for a real challenge with real consequences, I thought of something better. After watching some How I Met Your Mother, I got a hankering to slap someone. So I told my friend that if he let me slap him in the face, he could sleep on the couch. He agreed. What followed was one of the greatest moments in my life. Not that I have anything against my friend, but that slap was so amazingly awesome that I think I may have just had an epiphany to solve the American economy because of it.
We need to gradually ween the US off of the dollar onto a new currency. Slaps. When you go to the grocery store, you get slapped twice to buy eggs, once for a candy bar, and so on. We could even implement fractional slaps. If they slap you above what the item costs, your change is slapping them back. You could take out loans if your face hurts too much and pay back a few slaps per month with interest. People would be a lot more careful about what they spend their slaps on, because impulse shoppers would just get pummeled every time they go out shopping. This system would foster savings, financial preparation for the future, and an overall toughening up of the cupcakes we call Americans. I don't see a single problem with it, and I think President Obama should consider setting the wheels in motion. Yes We Can...get slapped in the face.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
It's the Daily Orange, not USA Today
The following are direct quotes from the Daily Orange during the past week.
It's FYP, not Broadway
"First Year Players performed, to the best of their abilities, 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' this weekend as their annual show."
"Though the performance had many singing and acting flaws, it was expected of the freshman and first-year non-drama majors."
"Despite the enjoyable and entertaining plot and characters, First Year Players' Thursday-through-Sunday presentation of the musical "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" fell flat vocally."
To which I reply:
The Daily Orange wrote, to the best of its ability, a review of the First Year Players' production of 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.'
Though the article had many writing and phrasing flaws and sounds like it was written by a complete d-bag, it was expected of college students.
Despite the professional tone of the review, the article fell flat in terms of actual content.
I am starting to realize that I am a critic of the media and in making fun of the DO, I am becoming exactly the evil that I have sworn to dispose of: bad media. Seriously, these days any idiot can start a blog and write whatever the hell they want, and since it is on the internet, anyone anywhere can read it. You don't need talent to get an audience, just connections. In my eyes, there are many media outlets that could use a makeover. However, I acknowledge the media's ultimate importance to the survival and improvement of society. Right now, I think that a proper analogy would be this. The media is an extremely powerful tool, much like a calculator, when used properly. But, when misused, it is like someone typing in numbers to a calculator and flipping it upside down to read a funny word on it.
Media aside, sometimes there is no controlling how people react to different stories. Recently, charges have been pressed against Syracuse football player Delone Carter for striking a student he believes threw a snowball at his car. Turns out he was wrong and the student he gave a severe concussion to did absolutely nothing at all. These are the facts as told by a syracuse.com news story. I am absolutely disgusted with some of the responses made by readers.
-Over one lousy punch...cops got nothing better to do then play gestapo.
Syracuse hasn't changed in 60 years since I was there. Civil rights in the Cuse? LOL.
-Little Jimmy shouldn't throw rocks at bigger dogs, at 1 a.m. no less, deserved a punch, probably was talking smack too. Good for the footballers!
It's FYP, not Broadway
"First Year Players performed, to the best of their abilities, 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels' this weekend as their annual show."
"Though the performance had many singing and acting flaws, it was expected of the freshman and first-year non-drama majors."
"Despite the enjoyable and entertaining plot and characters, First Year Players' Thursday-through-Sunday presentation of the musical "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" fell flat vocally."
To which I reply:
The Daily Orange wrote, to the best of its ability, a review of the First Year Players' production of 'Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.'
Though the article had many writing and phrasing flaws and sounds like it was written by a complete d-bag, it was expected of college students.
Despite the professional tone of the review, the article fell flat in terms of actual content.
I am starting to realize that I am a critic of the media and in making fun of the DO, I am becoming exactly the evil that I have sworn to dispose of: bad media. Seriously, these days any idiot can start a blog and write whatever the hell they want, and since it is on the internet, anyone anywhere can read it. You don't need talent to get an audience, just connections. In my eyes, there are many media outlets that could use a makeover. However, I acknowledge the media's ultimate importance to the survival and improvement of society. Right now, I think that a proper analogy would be this. The media is an extremely powerful tool, much like a calculator, when used properly. But, when misused, it is like someone typing in numbers to a calculator and flipping it upside down to read a funny word on it.
Media aside, sometimes there is no controlling how people react to different stories. Recently, charges have been pressed against Syracuse football player Delone Carter for striking a student he believes threw a snowball at his car. Turns out he was wrong and the student he gave a severe concussion to did absolutely nothing at all. These are the facts as told by a syracuse.com news story. I am absolutely disgusted with some of the responses made by readers.
-Over one lousy punch...cops got nothing better to do then play gestapo.
Syracuse hasn't changed in 60 years since I was there. Civil rights in the Cuse? LOL.
-Little Jimmy shouldn't throw rocks at bigger dogs, at 1 a.m. no less, deserved a punch, probably was talking smack too. Good for the footballers!
-These are the type that jump into the Gorilla pen wanting to play with the cute monkey and are stunned when he tears them apart.......but the soccer playing peeps think this is great
-This may be the most outragious story I have ever seen. This is really news? Someone throws a snowball at a car drivin by god knows who and they expect what? a handshake? Natural consequence, I feel
All of these represent the stupidity of a few people giving everyone else a bad name. The article states that the student assaulted did not throw the snowball, yet everyone assumes that he was just some punk kid looking to piss off some people and get away with it. He wasn't. So in response, here's my two cents.
-I'm standing on the street corner doing nothing but talking to my roommate and a D1 college athlete comes over and punches me in the face giving me severe injuries, apparently it's the normal progression of events and I deserved it for letting my face get in the way of his fist.
So the conclusion to draw here: nobody is perfect, the media and Joe Public especially.
I really want to get back on track, this has been quite the angry post so far. I recently attended my first auction. Like all good young masters of finance, I came with a pocketful of cash (it was in small bills to more easily facilitate 'making it rain'), I looked over the lots, and I went with a good idea in my head of what I wanted to buy. I told myself that I would put a limit on how much I would spend. Just so happened that the limit and the amount of money I had on me were the same. Once the auction started, I did a good job holding off bidding on the items I didn't want so much, and once one of the things I had my eyes on (cupcakes and a movie night) came up, I was ready. Bidding started at $5, and I jumped in pretty quick. Things got out of hand pretty quick, with the bidding to 10, 11, 12 dollars. I don't really remember clearly because of the adrenaline head rush that was driving me to bid higher and higher, but I'm pretty sure the number was $14 when my brain said, "Hey Tim, you might want to reconsider this whole bidding thing." I had to keep my eyes on the prize, so I vowed my return to bidding on another item would bring victory.
It did. But, funny story, it was an item I had no desire for previously. I promise the purchase was entirely pragmatic. It was a polo shirt from Abercrombie. I know, I'm the biggest prep in the world, and now I can finally show it. The shirt just looked all alone up there with nobody bidding on it. So I snagged it for a cool $5. Next, I made another impulse purchase. It was a Syracuse colored winter hat. It just looked soooo cool. With slightly less cash, I turned towards the real reason for my being at that auction. 3 words. Homemade. Chicken. Parm. I bid with the fervor of a man possessed. Bidding went to $10. Someone went to $11. I said $12. The competition hesitated for a half of a second. That's when I went for the throat, outbidding myself to $13. Turns out that people didn't want to bid against a crazy person, so I won. And it was de-fricking-licious. Last but not least, I won a homemade shirt that is probably going to be amazing. I was filled in on the process to make it, and it apparently involves ninjas, snipers, and Chuck Norris. I won this one by just threatening to overbid myself. No need to follow through this time, people were afraid of just the concept now. Advantage, Tim.
I think I need to take a nap. I ate my weight in chicken parm yesterday and its still hanging with me a little bit. Worth it? Worth ittttt.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
And Now I Relay This Information to You
Wow. Lot's of negative feedback about another late blog. And by that I mean three people. New record. Let's say this time that I thought the day "Wednesday" had a much more philosophically intriguing name than "Tuesday" does. Wednesday, pronounced whens-day. A day that includes when in its name. Existential. When is it happening? Whensday. Also, since when are there silent d's in the English language? Since Wednesday. Duh. Where have you been? Tuesday? Get real. Get real.
Now that that matter is officially sealed up, Syracuse lacrosse officially dominated last weekend. They got to open the new Giants/Jets football stadium with none other than a lacrosse extravaganza. A multi-multi-million dollar facility, opened by a college sport that nobody, not even twice repeating national champion home of the tribes that actually invented the sport Syracuse University, can make money on. Less profitable than college women's basketball, baseball, and hockey. But we opened that mother up with a bang. Playing the #4 Princeton Tigers and we made them look like they were back in the old days playing naked with a pig skull for a ball. Just made them look foolish. 13-4. It was the first day of my life where I was a little hesitant to name-drop my father's alma mater. (But I'm not hesitant today, it's Princeton!) The point of this is that lacrosse is awesome, but only if you go to Syracuse. I'm looking at you, Cornell students. How about teaching your so called lacrosse team how to make a clear with a long-sticker slash checking while they run out of the attack box? Don't worry, it's a lacrosse thing.
The other highlight of my weekend was a little event called Relay for Life. Quick refresher: it's an event where a bunch of teams fundraise for cancer research and then walk around a track all night lit by luminaria in honor and memory of those afflicted with cancer (they raised over $153,000). I got to go with PSP, possibly the most interesting and awesome collection of individuals on the face of the earth. I compiled a list of the different laps (~1/4 mile) we tried throughout the night.
And fun story, I didn't sleep at all. I planned on a 3 hour nap at 6 AM, but decided that breakfast with PSP-ers was more important instead. Totally worth it. So when I had to got to church at 9 AM to play bells, I had a solid 45 minutes of sleep under my belt. Then came an hour of practice, an hour of chatting, and an hour for the service. 12 PM, I finally trudge home to clean up and collapse because my arms and legs were threatening to secede from my body. Get to sleep around 12:45, just enough time to sleep 3 hours before my next event. PSP chapter, lasted 5 hours. So I do what any red-blooded American would do when faced with an empty stomach and closed dining halls. I bought 2 chicken quesadillas. Ate 'em up, got in bed at 10 PM and slept for 12 hours. What a day. Probably the first time in my life where an outside observer would've mistaken me for a narcoleptic.
Finally, a bit of current events. The Denver Broncos, my beloved but embattled (good word) football team, traded a top 3 wide receiver for 2 second round draft picks. Seriously, I'm not even biased, Brandon Marshall was one of the best. He tried harder than any other wide receiver I have ever seen. He was beastly, could outplay anyone to catch a pass. He caught a record 21 in one game. So what if he was a disruption to the team. So what if he lacerated every muscle, tendon, ligament, artery, vein, and whatever else you can lacerate in your arm after he was goofing off with his brother and got pushed through an entertainment unit. So what if he punted footballs in frustration at practice. So what if he got in trouble for substance abuse. Wait. I'm realizing something. Maybe he was a detriment to the team. Well, here's a link for you. The gist is that ESPN seems to think that now the Broncos are chomping at the bit (equestrian humor haha) to draft Dez Bryant out of Oklahoma State. Interesting. The thing about Dez Bryant is...he's the same fricking guy! He got suspended for basically an entire college football season because he lied about stuff to people. He's been continuously reprimanded and demonized and is one of the biggest controversies of the draft. So why wouldn't the Broncos want a wide receiver of his moral fiber? People are stupid.
I apologize for my lackluster blog, college basketball is over so get used to it. I'll hopefully get next week's out on time. If I don't...I will...I don't know. I'll put out my blog on Whensday. Promise.
Now that that matter is officially sealed up, Syracuse lacrosse officially dominated last weekend. They got to open the new Giants/Jets football stadium with none other than a lacrosse extravaganza. A multi-multi-million dollar facility, opened by a college sport that nobody, not even twice repeating national champion home of the tribes that actually invented the sport Syracuse University, can make money on. Less profitable than college women's basketball, baseball, and hockey. But we opened that mother up with a bang. Playing the #4 Princeton Tigers and we made them look like they were back in the old days playing naked with a pig skull for a ball. Just made them look foolish. 13-4. It was the first day of my life where I was a little hesitant to name-drop my father's alma mater. (But I'm not hesitant today, it's Princeton!) The point of this is that lacrosse is awesome, but only if you go to Syracuse. I'm looking at you, Cornell students. How about teaching your so called lacrosse team how to make a clear with a long-sticker slash checking while they run out of the attack box? Don't worry, it's a lacrosse thing.
The other highlight of my weekend was a little event called Relay for Life. Quick refresher: it's an event where a bunch of teams fundraise for cancer research and then walk around a track all night lit by luminaria in honor and memory of those afflicted with cancer (they raised over $153,000). I got to go with PSP, possibly the most interesting and awesome collection of individuals on the face of the earth. I compiled a list of the different laps (~1/4 mile) we tried throughout the night.
- Your heels can't touch the ground lap
- Do the same stupid dance move for the entire lap lap
- Leapfrog lap (only lasted about 1/8 of a lap)
- Carry a girl on your back lap (not to brag, I did 4 of these)
- Frislap (or lapbee, we're not picky) we did about 10 of these
And fun story, I didn't sleep at all. I planned on a 3 hour nap at 6 AM, but decided that breakfast with PSP-ers was more important instead. Totally worth it. So when I had to got to church at 9 AM to play bells, I had a solid 45 minutes of sleep under my belt. Then came an hour of practice, an hour of chatting, and an hour for the service. 12 PM, I finally trudge home to clean up and collapse because my arms and legs were threatening to secede from my body. Get to sleep around 12:45, just enough time to sleep 3 hours before my next event. PSP chapter, lasted 5 hours. So I do what any red-blooded American would do when faced with an empty stomach and closed dining halls. I bought 2 chicken quesadillas. Ate 'em up, got in bed at 10 PM and slept for 12 hours. What a day. Probably the first time in my life where an outside observer would've mistaken me for a narcoleptic.
Finally, a bit of current events. The Denver Broncos, my beloved but embattled (good word) football team, traded a top 3 wide receiver for 2 second round draft picks. Seriously, I'm not even biased, Brandon Marshall was one of the best. He tried harder than any other wide receiver I have ever seen. He was beastly, could outplay anyone to catch a pass. He caught a record 21 in one game. So what if he was a disruption to the team. So what if he lacerated every muscle, tendon, ligament, artery, vein, and whatever else you can lacerate in your arm after he was goofing off with his brother and got pushed through an entertainment unit. So what if he punted footballs in frustration at practice. So what if he got in trouble for substance abuse. Wait. I'm realizing something. Maybe he was a detriment to the team. Well, here's a link for you. The gist is that ESPN seems to think that now the Broncos are chomping at the bit (equestrian humor haha) to draft Dez Bryant out of Oklahoma State. Interesting. The thing about Dez Bryant is...he's the same fricking guy! He got suspended for basically an entire college football season because he lied about stuff to people. He's been continuously reprimanded and demonized and is one of the biggest controversies of the draft. So why wouldn't the Broncos want a wide receiver of his moral fiber? People are stupid.
I apologize for my lackluster blog, college basketball is over so get used to it. I'll hopefully get next week's out on time. If I don't...I will...I don't know. I'll put out my blog on Whensday. Promise.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
SPIN MOVE!
Gosh it's Wednesday again. That's the day we've all come to associate this blog with I think. I could come up with a list of completely BS reasons why I keep posting late (which I will):
I am officially out of material when it comes to my main staple, college basketball. As you may know, or not if you live in a cave or Iowa or something, the college basketball men's and women's championships were this week. We saw Butler vs. Duke and Stanford vs. Connecticut. And by we saw Stanford vs. Connecticut, I mean to say that we know that the Stanford and Connecticut women's basketball teams saw Stanford vs. Connecticut. Just for old time's sake, and for my sake as well, I'll just jot down some thoughts to carry me through a basketball-less 7 or so months.
Duke is officially the whitest team in the history of everything. Sure, they have players from other races. But what they have that other teams do not is Kyle Singler. Seriously, looking at this guy is like looking at the surface of the sun.
- I want you to build up the blog in your head because of all of the anticipation, disappoint you when it's not as good as it should be, and study the range of emotional reactions that I see. It's all part of a psychology experiment I've been undertaking ever since the age of 5. Surprise!
- Tuesdays are Dinosaur Stampede Day here in my dorm...it's hard to think with the stegosauruses and triceratops running down the hallways.
- I've recently created a new religion, which celebrates the birth of Chester A. Arthur, requires all members to sport amazing facial hair, and takes a sabbath on each Tuesday. No work on those days.
I am officially out of material when it comes to my main staple, college basketball. As you may know, or not if you live in a cave or Iowa or something, the college basketball men's and women's championships were this week. We saw Butler vs. Duke and Stanford vs. Connecticut. And by we saw Stanford vs. Connecticut, I mean to say that we know that the Stanford and Connecticut women's basketball teams saw Stanford vs. Connecticut. Just for old time's sake, and for my sake as well, I'll just jot down some thoughts to carry me through a basketball-less 7 or so months.
Duke is officially the whitest team in the history of everything. Sure, they have players from other races. But what they have that other teams do not is Kyle Singler. Seriously, looking at this guy is like looking at the surface of the sun.
Good looking guy. Compare him to Butler's best player, Gordon Hayward.
I know, I see it too. Looks like he's 12. In this case, whiteness overcame youth and Duke took home the 61-59 victory. Man I hate those guys.
In the case of the women's championship, I honestly wouldn't be able to tell you who won had I not seen SportsCenter on in the dining hall (sorria to the person I was eating with for my lack of attention). Well, here's what I found out. UConn came in to the game with a 77 game winning streak. That's like 2 1/2 seasons. No losses. And what's more, nobody even lost to them by single digits this year. That's not even fair. Well, this night would change that. Stanford came in looking to win. And UConn helped with the fact that from 17 minutes left in the first half to 7 minutes left in the half (a 1o minute period in the game), they scored a grand total of 0 points. 0. They missed 16 shots in a row. I don't think I've done that in my basketball career. With stats like that, the winner of the game should be obvious. UConn wins 53-47. Wait, did I just type that? Yes, UConn went through 1/4 of the game not scoring a single point. Ice cold from the field. And won. How screwed up is women's basketball? A friend put it best: "They should call the women's tournament the UConn Invitational."
As some of you may know, I've been enrolled in a ballroom dance class this semester. I know, pretty awesome, right? So I thought I'd conclude by imparting some knowledge onto all of you in terms of what some of the dances actually are.
I know, I see it too. Looks like he's 12. In this case, whiteness overcame youth and Duke took home the 61-59 victory. Man I hate those guys.
In the case of the women's championship, I honestly wouldn't be able to tell you who won had I not seen SportsCenter on in the dining hall (sorria to the person I was eating with for my lack of attention). Well, here's what I found out. UConn came in to the game with a 77 game winning streak. That's like 2 1/2 seasons. No losses. And what's more, nobody even lost to them by single digits this year. That's not even fair. Well, this night would change that. Stanford came in looking to win. And UConn helped with the fact that from 17 minutes left in the first half to 7 minutes left in the half (a 1o minute period in the game), they scored a grand total of 0 points. 0. They missed 16 shots in a row. I don't think I've done that in my basketball career. With stats like that, the winner of the game should be obvious. UConn wins 53-47. Wait, did I just type that? Yes, UConn went through 1/4 of the game not scoring a single point. Ice cold from the field. And won. How screwed up is women's basketball? A friend put it best: "They should call the women's tournament the UConn Invitational."
As some of you may know, I've been enrolled in a ballroom dance class this semester. I know, pretty awesome, right? So I thought I'd conclude by imparting some knowledge onto all of you in terms of what some of the dances actually are.
- Foxtrot: It's like, if a fox could dance, it would probably dance like this.
- Chacha: Just move your hips around a lot and jerk your head around every time you change direction.
- Rumba: The guys stand there and "showcase their partner" (aka let her do all the work)
- Merengue: As long as you keep doing steps in groups of 8, you can do pretty much whatever the hell you want
- Waltz: Who knows? I skipped dance twice and this is what they went over both times. It is also the dance "randomly" assigned to me for the final exam.
- Swing: Twirl the girl, twirl yourself, repeat.
- Salsa: Not so tasty unless you bring tortilla chips.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Battle Royale: Sponsored by Centrum Silver
I was recently given a suggestion on how to write my blog. I was told to "write my blog more like this." Well ok. I'll give it a try.
BASKETBALL TEAMS YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO BE A PART OF
1. Northeastern Men's Basketball Team.
And here's a picture of them:
Wow. I read that back and its a bit harsh. My bad. But what's done is done, it's not like I can go back and change what I just wrote. I apologize, you know who you are. You were just really upset that you had to wait an extra 24 hours to read this masterpiece and I am frustrated with my forthcoming lack of material due to the *sniff sniff* end of the Syracuse basketball season. But that's not what we're here to talk about. I'd much rather not write anything about it and pretend that it never happened. Instead, let's talk about the best holiday since Thanksgiving.
Easter? No. Passover? Not quite. I'm talking about National Orange Day. Last Wednesday was the glorious day of the year when the best color ever invented finally gets its due. At least, that's the theory. In reality, the execution wasn't quite there. I started the day strong with an orange collared shirt that I wore to work. That was just a warm up. I followed it up with the main attraction: plain orange sweatshirt, orange t-shirt, and yes, I wore my pumpkin pants. I walked out of my dorm with pride, only to be slapped in the face by an endless tide of blues, reds, chartreuses, burnt siennas, and whatever other frigging colors those darn college students are wearing these days. I walked into my first class. 35 kids. 3 wearing orange (including me). The teacher walks in wearing all black. Terrific. A funeral atmosphere for the death of my favorite color. Second class: 75 kids. I was literally the ONLY one wearing orange. What college do we go to? Syracuse. Syracuse what? Saltine Warriors? Dragon Slayers? Swashbuckling Armadillos? No. The Syracuse Orange. Is it too much to ask to wear that color one day out of the year? Because if it is you could become a Cornell Big Red or a Delaware Blue Hen for all I care.
On a lighter note, I did get to attend the NCAA Regionals in Syracuse last weekend. I have to tell you, they weren't so much fun when I was sitting in a mob of Cornell fans during the West Virginia-Washington game. But, halftime of Kentucky-Cornell was very entertaining. A 75 year old Washington fan (who had lost already) was complaining to an usher about those darn kids who were standing in front of him during the game. God forbid that Ivy League fans get excited when their team does well for once. So one of the aforementioned ne'er do well youths went to plead his case, which the old-timer did not take to so kindly. And I quote:
Old Guy- Nobody's talking to you! I'll punch you right in the face!
Now, someone threatening a kid whose age is 25% of his is a pretty good halftime show. But it got better. A well-meaning West Virginia fan (age ~50) decided to get in on the shenanigans. He yelled "Get a life pal!" about 15 times before the other guy realized. And he had a killer response:
Old guy- I'll punch you right in the face! [and later] I hope you lose too!
Zing.
And here I was thinking that going to a basketball game by myself was not going to be as fun. Although I have to admit, you can't scream at the top of your lungs at the people next to you if they are a 5 year old on one side and a 70 year old lady on the other. And they don't respond to chest bumps as well as college kids do. Or earthquake-inducing high fives. Kind of makes me appreciate the people who would go to games with me. So if you are out there and at one point put up with me yelling "KJ!" every time Kris Joseph touched the ball, thank you.
I think that's enough for one day. But I feel the need to put a list in here as I so love to do. In honor of the upcoming Sylvester Stallone/Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. I will come up with 5 movies that I'd rather see.
BASKETBALL TEAMS YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO BE A PART OF
1. Northeastern Men's Basketball Team.
And here's a picture of them:
Wow. I read that back and its a bit harsh. My bad. But what's done is done, it's not like I can go back and change what I just wrote. I apologize, you know who you are. You were just really upset that you had to wait an extra 24 hours to read this masterpiece and I am frustrated with my forthcoming lack of material due to the *sniff sniff* end of the Syracuse basketball season. But that's not what we're here to talk about. I'd much rather not write anything about it and pretend that it never happened. Instead, let's talk about the best holiday since Thanksgiving.
Easter? No. Passover? Not quite. I'm talking about National Orange Day. Last Wednesday was the glorious day of the year when the best color ever invented finally gets its due. At least, that's the theory. In reality, the execution wasn't quite there. I started the day strong with an orange collared shirt that I wore to work. That was just a warm up. I followed it up with the main attraction: plain orange sweatshirt, orange t-shirt, and yes, I wore my pumpkin pants. I walked out of my dorm with pride, only to be slapped in the face by an endless tide of blues, reds, chartreuses, burnt siennas, and whatever other frigging colors those darn college students are wearing these days. I walked into my first class. 35 kids. 3 wearing orange (including me). The teacher walks in wearing all black. Terrific. A funeral atmosphere for the death of my favorite color. Second class: 75 kids. I was literally the ONLY one wearing orange. What college do we go to? Syracuse. Syracuse what? Saltine Warriors? Dragon Slayers? Swashbuckling Armadillos? No. The Syracuse Orange. Is it too much to ask to wear that color one day out of the year? Because if it is you could become a Cornell Big Red or a Delaware Blue Hen for all I care.
On a lighter note, I did get to attend the NCAA Regionals in Syracuse last weekend. I have to tell you, they weren't so much fun when I was sitting in a mob of Cornell fans during the West Virginia-Washington game. But, halftime of Kentucky-Cornell was very entertaining. A 75 year old Washington fan (who had lost already) was complaining to an usher about those darn kids who were standing in front of him during the game. God forbid that Ivy League fans get excited when their team does well for once. So one of the aforementioned ne'er do well youths went to plead his case, which the old-timer did not take to so kindly. And I quote:
Old Guy- Nobody's talking to you! I'll punch you right in the face!
Now, someone threatening a kid whose age is 25% of his is a pretty good halftime show. But it got better. A well-meaning West Virginia fan (age ~50) decided to get in on the shenanigans. He yelled "Get a life pal!" about 15 times before the other guy realized. And he had a killer response:
Old guy- I'll punch you right in the face! [and later] I hope you lose too!
Zing.
And here I was thinking that going to a basketball game by myself was not going to be as fun. Although I have to admit, you can't scream at the top of your lungs at the people next to you if they are a 5 year old on one side and a 70 year old lady on the other. And they don't respond to chest bumps as well as college kids do. Or earthquake-inducing high fives. Kind of makes me appreciate the people who would go to games with me. So if you are out there and at one point put up with me yelling "KJ!" every time Kris Joseph touched the ball, thank you.
I think that's enough for one day. But I feel the need to put a list in here as I so love to do. In honor of the upcoming Sylvester Stallone/Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. I will come up with 5 movies that I'd rather see.
- Terminator 5, starring Jimmy Stewart as the Terminator and Danny DeVito as John Connor's great uncle, where Danny DeVito's character is continuously attacked by the new model of the Terminator, a happy-go-lucky song and dance kind of robot
- Nicholas Sparks' newest novel-movie, One Last Kiss, starring Hayden Christensen and Megan Fox as two young, beautiful people suck at acting, fall in love, fall out of love, and fall back in love, only to realize that nobody around them actually cares
- Rocky X, where X = whatever number Rocky movie they're on now, starring Sylvester Stallone as a boxer who loses, trains really hard, wins, and yells Yo Adrian!
- Whatever Twilight, Moonlight, Skylight I don't even know what's going on in that series. But whatever it is, it would be better than Sylvester and Ah-nold.
- Tropic Thunder. 'Nuff said.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Stop...Hammer Time
It's official. The legendary, landmark, amazing, perfect health care legislation that we have all heard so much about has been passed. Or, depending on how you look at it, the totalitarian, horrible, awful, worst thing that could ever happen to the United States health care legislation that we have all heard so little about has been passed. Seriously, who actually knows what's in it? It's longer than all of my textbooks, and you don't see me reading them for fun now do you. I stumbled upon this website that has a somewhat negative view of the bill (law now I guess), but its in a nice concise list form, which you all know that I absolutely love. Here's the link. I know it's out of date and doesn't really say much. I just thought it was funny that it keeps talking about ACORN (too soon?).
So here's what I think. Not very much. I honestly do not have the time to waste reading ponderous government documents that are inordinately long and verbose. I barely even have time to write a slightly below average blog each (almost) week. But, here's an argument against socializing health care. Who knows if it's even relevant, it's possible that it has nothing to do with anything. The problem with a Communist system is that there are no incentives for personal excellence. I know this is the point behind it, that everyone is equal, but seriously why should you be equal with a janitor if you went to school for 20+ years to be some kind of fancypants lawyer or something? Kind of what's happening here. Doctors are going to lose respect and reputability if everything has to go through the government. Salaries will go down. The idea of going through school for so many years that you could have a kid and put him through college in the time it takes to become a full fledged doctor will become less and less appealing. Next thing you know, the only doctors in the country will be John T. Ihavenothingbettertodowithmylife and Billy Q. Iamafraidtoleavecollege. I don't know about you, but writing those names down on emergency contact lists would be a bit too difficult for me. I once again make the disclaimer that that passage may in fact be completely useless and unrelated to everything ever.
See, I promised non-sports news this week. Now on to March Madness. You knew it was coming. First round was crazy. There were ups, downs, upsets, Syracuse not getting upset, and complete and utter heartbreak on the part of someone in my pool. I hope this person (henceforth known as bracket guy) does not mind my using their misery in this post. And if they do, I hope a big hug will suffice as repayment. So here's what happened (all times are estimates and may indeed be in the wrong order).
Thursday:
4:10 PM- Vanderbilt (4) scraps and fights its way back into a game that Murray State (13) had controlled the entire time. Vandy takes a 1 point lead with about 4 seconds to play. Murray makes a covered fadeaway from 18 feet away. Murray wins, bracket guy picked Vandy.
9:20 PM- Marquette, having opened up the second half on a 17-3 run, squanders a 15 point lead and drops into a tie with 2 minutes left. Nobody scores until Washington makes a shot with 1 second left. Game Washington. Bracket guy picked Marquette.
9:25 PM- UNLV sticks with Northern Iowa, winning for a lot of the time and nailing a 3 with 40 seconds left to tie the game. Northern Iowa responds with a 30 footer with 7 seconds to go, no sweat. Victory to Northern Iowa. Bracket guy had UNLV.
Friday
12:20 AM- Trailing most of the second half, Texas makes a miraculous comeback and forces overtime against Wake Forest. They go up 8-0 at the start of OT and Wake seems like they're waiting for their players to age a few more years before they score a basket. Wake comes back, assisted by 2-6 free throw shooting by Texas. Wake makes a fadeaway from the same spot Murray did earlier in the round. Wake takes it. Bracket guy went with Texas.
So the moral of the story: don't complain about how screwed your bracket is until you've lost 4 games on last second shots not just in the same round, but in the same day. Meanwhile, I hit 13 of 16 on the first day and took a mental snapshot of my 99.5 percentile bracket on espn.com. The next day I proceeded to go 10-16 and was ousted from first place in my pool.
Round 2. Storyline: Syracuse vs. Gonzaga. Syracuse still has not gotten Arinze Onuaku back from injury, and analysts say the Zags are "playing their best basketball of the season." Cuse could go the same way as Kansas and Nova did the day before. It didn't help that Rick Jackson, our only remaining big man, got 3 fouls pretty much before the opening tip. Oh wait, we have Da-shawn-tay Riley, almost didn't see him there because he's 7 feet tall and weighs about 45 pounds. And doesn't do very much. But he did have 0 rebounds in the game to go along with his 0 points, so thats a strong showing. In all fairness, the 1 assist he had was pretty sick. But that's beside the point.
Wes Johnson finally is back to being the best player ever (besides KJ of course). He could not miss a shot. He shot the way teams normally shoot against Cuse. And Andy. Too much to say about that guy. He does it all, and when he's hot, he's hot. Between the two of them, they scored 55 points. Compare it to Gonzaga's entire team. They got 65. Throw in Scoop's 13 points and we have 3 guys who outscored the other team by themselves. 87-65 final score, after the first 15 minutes it was never even a game. No lie, this is the second best I have ever seen Cuse play, the first being the time we beat Nova 95-77. Then again, I may be biased because I waited for 14 hours at the Dome for that one to start and my memory might be a little hazy, what with all of the sleep deprivation and hallucinations and whatnot.
I will leave you with this happy thought. After the bloodbath that was the first weekend of March Madness, I am left with only 4 of my Final Four teams alive. Ha! That's all of them! Count 'em- Ohio State, Kentucky, Baylor, Kansas State (just kidding...SYRACUSE!). We are looking primed for a national championship run. So, in conclusion, stay dry, stay awesome, and for goodness sake watch out for bad raspberries when you're picking out a batch to chow down on.
So here's what I think. Not very much. I honestly do not have the time to waste reading ponderous government documents that are inordinately long and verbose. I barely even have time to write a slightly below average blog each (almost) week. But, here's an argument against socializing health care. Who knows if it's even relevant, it's possible that it has nothing to do with anything. The problem with a Communist system is that there are no incentives for personal excellence. I know this is the point behind it, that everyone is equal, but seriously why should you be equal with a janitor if you went to school for 20+ years to be some kind of fancypants lawyer or something? Kind of what's happening here. Doctors are going to lose respect and reputability if everything has to go through the government. Salaries will go down. The idea of going through school for so many years that you could have a kid and put him through college in the time it takes to become a full fledged doctor will become less and less appealing. Next thing you know, the only doctors in the country will be John T. Ihavenothingbettertodowithmylife and Billy Q. Iamafraidtoleavecollege. I don't know about you, but writing those names down on emergency contact lists would be a bit too difficult for me. I once again make the disclaimer that that passage may in fact be completely useless and unrelated to everything ever.
See, I promised non-sports news this week. Now on to March Madness. You knew it was coming. First round was crazy. There were ups, downs, upsets, Syracuse not getting upset, and complete and utter heartbreak on the part of someone in my pool. I hope this person (henceforth known as bracket guy) does not mind my using their misery in this post. And if they do, I hope a big hug will suffice as repayment. So here's what happened (all times are estimates and may indeed be in the wrong order).
Thursday:
4:10 PM- Vanderbilt (4) scraps and fights its way back into a game that Murray State (13) had controlled the entire time. Vandy takes a 1 point lead with about 4 seconds to play. Murray makes a covered fadeaway from 18 feet away. Murray wins, bracket guy picked Vandy.
9:20 PM- Marquette, having opened up the second half on a 17-3 run, squanders a 15 point lead and drops into a tie with 2 minutes left. Nobody scores until Washington makes a shot with 1 second left. Game Washington. Bracket guy picked Marquette.
9:25 PM- UNLV sticks with Northern Iowa, winning for a lot of the time and nailing a 3 with 40 seconds left to tie the game. Northern Iowa responds with a 30 footer with 7 seconds to go, no sweat. Victory to Northern Iowa. Bracket guy had UNLV.
Friday
12:20 AM- Trailing most of the second half, Texas makes a miraculous comeback and forces overtime against Wake Forest. They go up 8-0 at the start of OT and Wake seems like they're waiting for their players to age a few more years before they score a basket. Wake comes back, assisted by 2-6 free throw shooting by Texas. Wake makes a fadeaway from the same spot Murray did earlier in the round. Wake takes it. Bracket guy went with Texas.
So the moral of the story: don't complain about how screwed your bracket is until you've lost 4 games on last second shots not just in the same round, but in the same day. Meanwhile, I hit 13 of 16 on the first day and took a mental snapshot of my 99.5 percentile bracket on espn.com. The next day I proceeded to go 10-16 and was ousted from first place in my pool.
Round 2. Storyline: Syracuse vs. Gonzaga. Syracuse still has not gotten Arinze Onuaku back from injury, and analysts say the Zags are "playing their best basketball of the season." Cuse could go the same way as Kansas and Nova did the day before. It didn't help that Rick Jackson, our only remaining big man, got 3 fouls pretty much before the opening tip. Oh wait, we have Da-shawn-tay Riley, almost didn't see him there because he's 7 feet tall and weighs about 45 pounds. And doesn't do very much. But he did have 0 rebounds in the game to go along with his 0 points, so thats a strong showing. In all fairness, the 1 assist he had was pretty sick. But that's beside the point.
Wes Johnson finally is back to being the best player ever (besides KJ of course). He could not miss a shot. He shot the way teams normally shoot against Cuse. And Andy. Too much to say about that guy. He does it all, and when he's hot, he's hot. Between the two of them, they scored 55 points. Compare it to Gonzaga's entire team. They got 65. Throw in Scoop's 13 points and we have 3 guys who outscored the other team by themselves. 87-65 final score, after the first 15 minutes it was never even a game. No lie, this is the second best I have ever seen Cuse play, the first being the time we beat Nova 95-77. Then again, I may be biased because I waited for 14 hours at the Dome for that one to start and my memory might be a little hazy, what with all of the sleep deprivation and hallucinations and whatnot.
I will leave you with this happy thought. After the bloodbath that was the first weekend of March Madness, I am left with only 4 of my Final Four teams alive. Ha! That's all of them! Count 'em- Ohio State, Kentucky, Baylor, Kansas State (just kidding...SYRACUSE!). We are looking primed for a national championship run. So, in conclusion, stay dry, stay awesome, and for goodness sake watch out for bad raspberries when you're picking out a batch to chow down on.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
MJ 2-4 Just Sounds Like an Awful Nickname
I wonder if anyone (besides this one BA I know) would've noticed that this Friday at 9:30 PM in the Queen City of Buffalo, NY is the stage for a special edition version of Family Feud. That is, Family Feud with an actual audience of 20,000 people, basketballs, and the feud is within one family. Namely, the Joseph family. With my borderline creepy fascination with Kris Joseph, KJ 3-2, TGBPWHEOWEL, whatever you want to call him, I did not even notice that he had a brother playing D1 basketball for the Vermont Catamounts. Side bar, catamount is another name for puma. So my boy Kris is playing against his older brother Maurice, a guard for Vermont. Now, I can see where this is going. Kris takes Maurice (#24 for when you're watching the game) to school a few times and then the announcers will not stop talking about the fact that they're brothers. Who knows, maybe they won't go into double digits with the times they mention that Leo Rautins is Andy's father. Or maybe not. So special thanks to the BA who informed me of this fraternal matchup.
So on to the bigger picture of March Madness. I see some intriguing matchups (but will not give away my picks until the brackets lock on Thursday). In the South Region, I think 15 seed Robert Morris looks primed to make a run. Not only is the road to the Final Four paved for them with the blood of Scottie Reynolds and Villanova, history is on their side. Robert Morris is a founding father. What other important revolutionary figures have colleges named after them in past tournaments?
So that takes care of the South and Midwest regions. West, easy. There's this one team there that's pretty good. And orange. Both are factors in them doing very, very well. That leaves one Final Four spot up for grabs in the East region. We'll take a look at the most intriguing match up. Team Let Down vs. Team Disgrace. Texas vs. Wake Forest. One team who started 17-0 and then lost pretty much everything. Another team who lost in the first round as a 4 seed last year, as well as losing to William and Mary, as well as 12th place in the ACC Miami (twice!). This is the selection committee's middle finger to these two teams. This is like March Madness's version of a drunk bum fight...possibly entertaining, probably means nothing. This is just a battle to see which one of them gets mauled in the second round by Kentucky.
While this was a short post, I'll try to keep updating it through the week. Sorry if you don't like sports, but it's all March Madness all the time until April. And maybe some other things so I don't lose 95% of my readers who hate it when I talk about sports.
So on to the bigger picture of March Madness. I see some intriguing matchups (but will not give away my picks until the brackets lock on Thursday). In the South Region, I think 15 seed Robert Morris looks primed to make a run. Not only is the road to the Final Four paved for them with the blood of Scottie Reynolds and Villanova, history is on their side. Robert Morris is a founding father. What other important revolutionary figures have colleges named after them in past tournaments?
- George Washington University, named after first President of the United States George Washington (obviously)
- George Mason University, named after Bill of Rights architect George Mason
- Davidson College, named after Revolutionary War Brigadier General William Lee Davidson
- Georgetown University, named after a town named after the grandfather of King George III, mentioned several times in the Declaration of Independence as someone who pretty much sucked
- 2006- George Washington wins in the first round, Georgetown makes the Sweet 16 as a 7 seed, and George Mason makes the Final Four as an 11 seed
- 2007 (off year)- Davidson and GW lose in the first round, Georgetown makes the Final Four as a 2 seed
- 2008- George Mason loses in the first round, Georgetown loses in the second round (to Davidson), Davidson makes it to the Elite 8 as a 10 seed
- 2009 (off year)- Robert Morris loses in the first round
So that takes care of the South and Midwest regions. West, easy. There's this one team there that's pretty good. And orange. Both are factors in them doing very, very well. That leaves one Final Four spot up for grabs in the East region. We'll take a look at the most intriguing match up. Team Let Down vs. Team Disgrace. Texas vs. Wake Forest. One team who started 17-0 and then lost pretty much everything. Another team who lost in the first round as a 4 seed last year, as well as losing to William and Mary, as well as 12th place in the ACC Miami (twice!). This is the selection committee's middle finger to these two teams. This is like March Madness's version of a drunk bum fight...possibly entertaining, probably means nothing. This is just a battle to see which one of them gets mauled in the second round by Kentucky.
While this was a short post, I'll try to keep updating it through the week. Sorry if you don't like sports, but it's all March Madness all the time until April. And maybe some other things so I don't lose 95% of my readers who hate it when I talk about sports.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Easy come, easy go (little high, little low)
That was quite a run we had there at #1. Gotta say, I'm very impressed with the timing, because the only game we won with that rank in the last 20+ years just happened to be on my birthday. I guess it turned out to be an even better present than I suspected. I'm getting Saturday's loss out of the way in one sentence though...just like ripping off a bandaid right? Louisvilleplayedperfectbasketballwithaveryemotionalfanbaseinthelastgameeverattheirhomearenaandtheresnowayanyoneinthecountrycould'vebeatenthemthewaytheywereplaying.
OW. That was a bit painful. Probably less painful than it is to read.
Well I don't really know where to go from here. I usually have at least 4 or 5 paragraphs to rave and rant about Kris Joseph and how awesome Syracuse is at pretty much everything...but we even lost at lacrosse this week! Well, there's something I've always wanted to try. You know those songs that college kids love? Yeah, the ones that pretty much all sound the same and have to do with irresponsible behavior unbecoming of a role model. I am going to translate the refrains of a few of those songs just for kicks. See if you can figure out what's what. And bear with me if it sucks.
First things first, let's try a really easy one.
Would any bystander care to dial the authorities?
A lady is spontaneously combusting...
I'm going to douse her with some water
Otherwise I fear that the structural integrity of this establishment is going to fail
Got it? Ok let's see what else I can find.
The type of rhythms and steps she is employing is overwhelming to me
I stop the task at which I am currently occupied to approach her
I search my mind for some prose to accurately compose a verbal portrait of her
Without calling her a prostitute (but I will anyway)
One more hippity hop song.
Don't give in to your natural impulses
Get just enough for yourself from that thing over there
A couple of big plants that are related
Wish that they had some ghosts living in them
Well, that was disappointing. I have to say I was expecting more from that section, weren't you? By this time, I'm really just stalling and trying to put a decent length post out there. Ok, idea. I apologize for taking the easy way out this week, but it's really not been one for me to write home about. So I will give you this valuable chance to take a look into my writing past and see the piece of writing that was a forerunner to this very blog. It was written in the summer of 2006, I believe, so some of the humor may be, shall we say, dated. But, I must pay homage to my roots...high school me. So enjoy.
__________________________________________________________
If you have been at home during the day at anytime, without anything better to do except maybe find a large building to jump off of, you have probably watched a game show. Right now, I’m going to concentrate on the fiercest offender of my right to no cruel and unusual punishments: the Price is Right. Bob Barker is old, gray, and somehow attractive to every single woman that comes to play. Without fail, he will receive at least 5 kisses on every show. I have no idea how he does this. He’s like 90, but is the second biggest womanizer I have ever seen (the first, of course, being Donald Trump). At the end of every show, he tells his audience to help control the pet population by having your pets spayed or neutered. I think Bob should consider that for himself, to help control the human population. Another sure thing on this program is that a 70-year-old woman will win either a pair of guitars or a pickup truck. This is a very scary thought. How many people on this show win 2 ton hunks of dangerous metal who don’t actually have valid driver’s licenses I hope to never find out. I wonder also how many people win trips to places they already live.
Bob Barker-“Mr. Kineke, you’ve just won a 6 night stay in the Clifton Park Best Western!”
Me-“Umm Bob? I live just down the street from there.”
Bob Barker-“Oh. Well, I suppose I can substitute this fake plastic vomit instead, as it holds about the same value.”
Other game shows not only have incompetent hosts, but contestants as well. Family Feud has 10 contestants from 2 families facing off. 8 of these people were probably eating paint chips as children. This was an actual answer given by a player.
Host-“Ok. We’re looking for the top 5 answers here. What is a city with a song named after it?”
Contestant-“Texas
And to make sure they don’t stick a shotgun in their mouth when they hear the “Stupid Answer” buzzer, everyone says “Good answer!” over and over again. I cannot stand those horrible common last name families. The Browns. The Smiths. The Johnsons. Sometimes, they go crazy and pick an exotic sounding one. The O’Briens. The Changs.
Another game show with astonishingly stupid contestants is Who Wants to be a Millionaire? A woman had to ask the audience what month the Super Bowl was in (before the dumb NFL people bumped it to February). People consistently walk away with $1,000 and sometimes even $0. This shocks me. In the good old days with Regis Philbin when at least one or two every month would win $1,000,000. I miss hearing Regis say, “Is that your final answer?” after a question like:
Which one of these is a number?
A) 6.5
B) Please send me home now
C) Tomato juice
D) Regis’s tie is distracting.
Right now, I believe I hear you saying: “But Tim, you do well on a game show in front of a national audience.” I say: “Possibly you are correct.” But, you don’t hear me saying that Texas is a city. Because it’s not.
__________________________________________________________
That's just a small sample of the piece I'm referring to. I'll save the rest for days when I have nothing to write about. Like today. Hope you enjoyed today's post, I sure did...except for the part where I let every single one of my readers down. But just like Syracuse basketball, you win some, you lose some.
OW. That was a bit painful. Probably less painful than it is to read.
Well I don't really know where to go from here. I usually have at least 4 or 5 paragraphs to rave and rant about Kris Joseph and how awesome Syracuse is at pretty much everything...but we even lost at lacrosse this week! Well, there's something I've always wanted to try. You know those songs that college kids love? Yeah, the ones that pretty much all sound the same and have to do with irresponsible behavior unbecoming of a role model. I am going to translate the refrains of a few of those songs just for kicks. See if you can figure out what's what. And bear with me if it sucks.
First things first, let's try a really easy one.
Would any bystander care to dial the authorities?
A lady is spontaneously combusting...
I'm going to douse her with some water
Otherwise I fear that the structural integrity of this establishment is going to fail
Got it? Ok let's see what else I can find.
The type of rhythms and steps she is employing is overwhelming to me
I stop the task at which I am currently occupied to approach her
I search my mind for some prose to accurately compose a verbal portrait of her
Without calling her a prostitute (but I will anyway)
One more hippity hop song.
Don't give in to your natural impulses
Get just enough for yourself from that thing over there
A couple of big plants that are related
Wish that they had some ghosts living in them
Well, that was disappointing. I have to say I was expecting more from that section, weren't you? By this time, I'm really just stalling and trying to put a decent length post out there. Ok, idea. I apologize for taking the easy way out this week, but it's really not been one for me to write home about. So I will give you this valuable chance to take a look into my writing past and see the piece of writing that was a forerunner to this very blog. It was written in the summer of 2006, I believe, so some of the humor may be, shall we say, dated. But, I must pay homage to my roots...high school me. So enjoy.
__________________________________________________________
If you have been at home during the day at anytime, without anything better to do except maybe find a large building to jump off of, you have probably watched a game show. Right now, I’m going to concentrate on the fiercest offender of my right to no cruel and unusual punishments: the Price is Right. Bob Barker is old, gray, and somehow attractive to every single woman that comes to play. Without fail, he will receive at least 5 kisses on every show. I have no idea how he does this. He’s like 90, but is the second biggest womanizer I have ever seen (the first, of course, being Donald Trump). At the end of every show, he tells his audience to help control the pet population by having your pets spayed or neutered. I think Bob should consider that for himself, to help control the human population. Another sure thing on this program is that a 70-year-old woman will win either a pair of guitars or a pickup truck. This is a very scary thought. How many people on this show win 2 ton hunks of dangerous metal who don’t actually have valid driver’s licenses I hope to never find out. I wonder also how many people win trips to places they already live.
Bob Barker-“Mr. Kineke, you’ve just won a 6 night stay in the Clifton Park Best Western!”
Me-“Umm Bob? I live just down the street from there.”
Bob Barker-“Oh. Well, I suppose I can substitute this fake plastic vomit instead, as it holds about the same value.”
Other game shows not only have incompetent hosts, but contestants as well. Family Feud has 10 contestants from 2 families facing off. 8 of these people were probably eating paint chips as children. This was an actual answer given by a player.
Host-“Ok. We’re looking for the top 5 answers here. What is a city with a song named after it?”
Contestant-“Texas
And to make sure they don’t stick a shotgun in their mouth when they hear the “Stupid Answer” buzzer, everyone says “Good answer!” over and over again. I cannot stand those horrible common last name families. The Browns. The Smiths. The Johnsons. Sometimes, they go crazy and pick an exotic sounding one. The O’Briens. The Changs.
Another game show with astonishingly stupid contestants is Who Wants to be a Millionaire? A woman had to ask the audience what month the Super Bowl was in (before the dumb NFL people bumped it to February). People consistently walk away with $1,000 and sometimes even $0. This shocks me. In the good old days with Regis Philbin when at least one or two every month would win $1,000,000. I miss hearing Regis say, “Is that your final answer?” after a question like:
Which one of these is a number?
A) 6.5
B) Please send me home now
C) Tomato juice
D) Regis’s tie is distracting.
Right now, I believe I hear you saying: “But Tim, you do well on a game show in front of a national audience.” I say: “Possibly you are correct.” But, you don’t hear me saying that Texas is a city. Because it’s not.
__________________________________________________________
That's just a small sample of the piece I'm referring to. I'll save the rest for days when I have nothing to write about. Like today. Hope you enjoyed today's post, I sure did...except for the part where I let every single one of my readers down. But just like Syracuse basketball, you win some, you lose some.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
omg we r #1!
This post is going to cover a lot. Of basketball. And a little birthday. And some snow. And basketball. I will warn the faint of heart that there is a lot of sportstalk in this one, but then again, SYRACUSE BASKETBALL IS NUMBER ONE IN THE COUNTRY. That felt really good to type. So here's where it starts. Saturday. Because as far as I'm concerned, it was such a wonderful day that everything before it kind of got wiped clean.
Just kidding. It actually started late Friday night. I somehow got it in my head that staying up as late as humanly possible was the best way to prep for a day in which I would be standing for about 12 hours. Smart, right? So I went to a friend's room in a dorm near the Dome and we hung out for a while. And as a harbinger of Syracuse's athletic excellence, what would be on ESPNU at 2 in the morning but a rerun of Cuse's comeback win in last year's national championship game that was nothing short of miraculous. Go here for the synopsis. It's awesome, don't worry. Unless you go to Cornell.
So after some excitement and whatnot, we bedded down for the night around 4. 2 hours is enough to sleep right? Well, I ended up getting about 20 minutes worth. But that's all I need. Wake up at 6:20 AM, get ready, go to the Dome around 7. We get a good spot in line, so there we stand. At 7:45, the security people came through the line and kindly (not really) informed us that backpacks would not be allowed inside. He gave us some options.
8:00 comes and goes. We are not let in. My heroic Sprint for Justice and ESPN College Gameday is wasted. Turns out that the security at the Dome hated kids (at least for Saturday) and we don't get in until 9:30. Once we're in, we get our seats and I find my MIA brother and we rejoin the group. Gameday was a lot of fun, but there were two things wrong with it. First was the lack of creativity on them telling us what to do.
"Guys, we're taping a 30 second promo to air during SportsCenter. We're gonna need you to go crazy!"
"Guys, we're going live on SportsCenter. We're gonna need you to go crazy!"
"Guys, Gameday is on now. We're gonna need you to go crazy!"
"Guys, Jay Bilas remembered to get dressed this morning. We're gonna need you to go crazy!"
Second, there was a bit of visual miscommunication between my brother and me and the majority of the structure in which we were temporarily housed. To put it bluntly, this was our view:
That orange hat belongs to the jerk with the gigantic Brandon Triche head. Not a great view to say the least.
After Gameday the Carrier Dome thought it would be cool to, you know, not let us stay in after they already let us in. So we got kicked out. Into the snow. And rain. For another 6 hours. Not cool. The thing that got us through the day was the fact that there was no shortage of people willing to bring us food. I don't put names in here, remember, so bear with me. I'd like to thank the first couple people who brought us Varsity pizza, the second couple people (including my big) who stole enough food from the dining hall to feed an army, and my roommate who brought us some Domino's pizza. On behalf of my entire group, I'd like to thank you all very very very much. Other than the food, some other highlights of the looooong wait to get in included (another list of stuff!):
Tip-off finally at 9. We promptly take control and decide to not miss any shots ever. We cruise to a 46-36 halftime lead, score 75 points for free tacos on an Arinze Onuaku freethrow of all things. The outcome was never in doubt. Of our players who played, here were our point totals: Rick Jackson 19, Arinze Onuaku 17, Kris Joseph 16, Scoop Jardine 16, Wes Johnson 14, Andy Rautins 12. Oh, and Brandon Triche 1. Apparently our freshman point guard was who Nova thought was the lynchpin of our offense. Well, they stopped him pretty well. But putting 5 defenders on one guy leaves a few other people open.
What did Kris Joseph do, you ask? Well, he scored 16, we covered that already. He slashed, he dashed, he made amazing plays all over the place. And. He made a 3. Most I've ever yelled in my life when that happened. Also, Kris did a little of this too:
That was the back page of the DO (basically) which ended up on the greatest birthday card ever a few days later. But we're getting to that.
Birthday time. It all started the day before my birthday...I guess that's a trend this week, things starting a day before they actually start. Well, I was minding my own business making this sign for the basketball game on Tuesday:
My roommate tells me to come out into the common room for a second. And apparently I'm so unobservant that about 15 people can sneak into my room without me looking up or hearing anything. Touche. It was at this shindig that I received said birthday card from one of my best friends. It was an auspicious start to the day.
Lunchtime on my birthday is when things started heating up. Like my friend's oven. To make chicken nuggets. Oh yeah. Chicken nuggets. Eating chicken nuggets + watching How I Met Your Mother = awesome. Multiply that by 2 for the amount of awesome people I was hanging out with and you get 2awesome. After a couple uneventful classes, I went to go over to the Dome to wait to get great seats for the game with my brother and my main man. We get in, and we get the idea (from my main man, you know who you are) that we should wait by the tunnel and get some autographs when the players walk out for warmups. Well, in short, it paid off. I now am the proud owner of a hat signed by Andy Rautins, Wes Johnson, and Arinze Onuaku. Even better, my #32 shirt got signed by KJ 3-2 himself! And even better better, I have my brother to thank for both his camera wielding skills and candor. On my camera's absolute last gasp of batteries he said "Hey Kris it's my brother's birthday, can you take a picture with him?" And this is the result, if you hadn't seen it on Facebook already:
Best. Birthday. Ever. Best. Week. Ever.
Just kidding. It actually started late Friday night. I somehow got it in my head that staying up as late as humanly possible was the best way to prep for a day in which I would be standing for about 12 hours. Smart, right? So I went to a friend's room in a dorm near the Dome and we hung out for a while. And as a harbinger of Syracuse's athletic excellence, what would be on ESPNU at 2 in the morning but a rerun of Cuse's comeback win in last year's national championship game that was nothing short of miraculous. Go here for the synopsis. It's awesome, don't worry. Unless you go to Cornell.
So after some excitement and whatnot, we bedded down for the night around 4. 2 hours is enough to sleep right? Well, I ended up getting about 20 minutes worth. But that's all I need. Wake up at 6:20 AM, get ready, go to the Dome around 7. We get a good spot in line, so there we stand. At 7:45, the security people came through the line and kindly (not really) informed us that backpacks would not be allowed inside. He gave us some options.
- Put them in someone's room
- Hide them
- Throw them on the roof of the Dome and climb up for them after the game
8:00 comes and goes. We are not let in. My heroic Sprint for Justice and ESPN College Gameday is wasted. Turns out that the security at the Dome hated kids (at least for Saturday) and we don't get in until 9:30. Once we're in, we get our seats and I find my MIA brother and we rejoin the group. Gameday was a lot of fun, but there were two things wrong with it. First was the lack of creativity on them telling us what to do.
"Guys, we're taping a 30 second promo to air during SportsCenter. We're gonna need you to go crazy!"
"Guys, we're going live on SportsCenter. We're gonna need you to go crazy!"
"Guys, Gameday is on now. We're gonna need you to go crazy!"
"Guys, Jay Bilas remembered to get dressed this morning. We're gonna need you to go crazy!"
Second, there was a bit of visual miscommunication between my brother and me and the majority of the structure in which we were temporarily housed. To put it bluntly, this was our view:
That orange hat belongs to the jerk with the gigantic Brandon Triche head. Not a great view to say the least.
After Gameday the Carrier Dome thought it would be cool to, you know, not let us stay in after they already let us in. So we got kicked out. Into the snow. And rain. For another 6 hours. Not cool. The thing that got us through the day was the fact that there was no shortage of people willing to bring us food. I don't put names in here, remember, so bear with me. I'd like to thank the first couple people who brought us Varsity pizza, the second couple people (including my big) who stole enough food from the dining hall to feed an army, and my roommate who brought us some Domino's pizza. On behalf of my entire group, I'd like to thank you all very very very much. Other than the food, some other highlights of the looooong wait to get in included (another list of stuff!):
- My ongoing feud with the friggin' event staff guy with the friggin' mustache
- An ongoing and heated debate of whether or not Crocs footwear is edible
- My trip to a sink to boil my hands to regain feeling in them
- People getting tossed out of line for cutting
- Thoughtful and desperate prayer that we didn't lose to Nova and negate all of our hard work in turning into human ice sculptures
Tip-off finally at 9. We promptly take control and decide to not miss any shots ever. We cruise to a 46-36 halftime lead, score 75 points for free tacos on an Arinze Onuaku freethrow of all things. The outcome was never in doubt. Of our players who played, here were our point totals: Rick Jackson 19, Arinze Onuaku 17, Kris Joseph 16, Scoop Jardine 16, Wes Johnson 14, Andy Rautins 12. Oh, and Brandon Triche 1. Apparently our freshman point guard was who Nova thought was the lynchpin of our offense. Well, they stopped him pretty well. But putting 5 defenders on one guy leaves a few other people open.
What did Kris Joseph do, you ask? Well, he scored 16, we covered that already. He slashed, he dashed, he made amazing plays all over the place. And. He made a 3. Most I've ever yelled in my life when that happened. Also, Kris did a little of this too:
That was the back page of the DO (basically) which ended up on the greatest birthday card ever a few days later. But we're getting to that.
Birthday time. It all started the day before my birthday...I guess that's a trend this week, things starting a day before they actually start. Well, I was minding my own business making this sign for the basketball game on Tuesday:
My roommate tells me to come out into the common room for a second. And apparently I'm so unobservant that about 15 people can sneak into my room without me looking up or hearing anything. Touche. It was at this shindig that I received said birthday card from one of my best friends. It was an auspicious start to the day.
Lunchtime on my birthday is when things started heating up. Like my friend's oven. To make chicken nuggets. Oh yeah. Chicken nuggets. Eating chicken nuggets + watching How I Met Your Mother = awesome. Multiply that by 2 for the amount of awesome people I was hanging out with and you get 2awesome. After a couple uneventful classes, I went to go over to the Dome to wait to get great seats for the game with my brother and my main man. We get in, and we get the idea (from my main man, you know who you are) that we should wait by the tunnel and get some autographs when the players walk out for warmups. Well, in short, it paid off. I now am the proud owner of a hat signed by Andy Rautins, Wes Johnson, and Arinze Onuaku. Even better, my #32 shirt got signed by KJ 3-2 himself! And even better better, I have my brother to thank for both his camera wielding skills and candor. On my camera's absolute last gasp of batteries he said "Hey Kris it's my brother's birthday, can you take a picture with him?" And this is the result, if you hadn't seen it on Facebook already:
Best. Birthday. Ever. Best. Week. Ever.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Unemployment? More Like Funemployment!
Fresh off a statement win for the Syracuse basketball program...well not really a statement win, more like us beating up on a not so good team. That's not even close to maybe approaching an almost grammatically correct sentence. Oh well, grammar is for people who go to schools that can't play sports. Like Providence. And people in grammar class. Like me. Ask me what the difference between a dependent clause and an independent clause is. Just try me, I'm begging you. Seriously, otherwise I have no use for this knowledge.
I'm going to get the basketball out of the way while it's fresh in my mind. Providence invoked the "Nobody Misses 35-foot 3-Pointers Against Syracuse" Rule repeatedly in the first half. Those guys really could not miss. However, Syracuse kind of couldn't either. Despite them making 10 3's in the first half from a combined distance of about 3 miles away, we were only down 5 at the half. Providence would've been beating the Boston Celtics the way they were playing. Scary good. Come the second half, though, things changed. After they made one more shot from out of state. Wait, they played in Rhode Island, so the entire state is contained in the halfcourt of the Providence basketball arena. Haha because Rhode Island is wicked small, right? Whatever, the point is that Cuse went on a couple of gigundo runs to take control. Rick Jackson was doing this (with his eyes closed, mind you):
And Andy Rautins was doing this (admittedly this wasn't a picture from tonight's game but you get the picture ;) ):
And Jim Boeheim was doing this:
I would like to take a moment to point out a certain pensive young gentleman dressed all in orange in the background who had a workman-like 7 point, 8 rebound night. Just sayin'. I used these pictures because they describe things so much better than I can. And since a picture says a thousand words, this is by far my longest blog. Thanks for sticking around despite my long windedness.
Because, speaking of that young man in the above picture, he was involved in another contest of athleticism on Thursday. Against those guys we really don't like too much. Whose mascot is a made up word. Or, after checking dictionary.com, it may be a word after all. Check this out.
hoy·a
Solid. Well, we built up a 60-37 lead over the Georgetown Waxy Flowers at one point in the second half. Then we decided to make the game really really exciting (which turned out great, let me tell you). So the Waxy Flowers went on a 33-11 run to get within 71-70 after Syracuse took about 10 minutes to go get coffee or something. Syracuse gets the ball with about 40 or so seconds left. They need a score to help put the game out of reach. Wes Johnson is on the floor. Who gets the ball with a monumentally important game on the line? That's right. It had to come up eventually in this post. Mah boy. Kris "TGBPWHEOWEL" Joseph. Crossover. Drive. Layup. Game over.
On a slightly less sports-like note, there has finally been someone who sees the glass as half-full. This awful period for the economy has been but one positive opinion away from being just "A break from that whole 'making money' nonsense." Well, finally somebody sees the light. In this man's eyes, the stock market is just resting. The housing market is planning its homecoming parade. Unemployment is the best thing that could happen to a person. Who is this mystery man? The chairman of the Federal Reserve Board, surely. If not that, a leading economist with the government's ear must be making these claims. Guess again. The savior of public opinion, the master of all things economic, is football coach Andy Reid. Upon releasing running back Brian Westbrook, he said the following:
"We're giving him the opportunity...to maximize his ability to go and get another job."
Just think about that for a second. Done? Ok. This is hands down one of the stupidest things that I have ever heard in my entire life. So Andy is doing Westbrook this huge favor. Westbrook really really wanted to get a job in addition to the whole starting for the Philadelphia Eagles thing, and now thanks to the Eagles he won't have so many pesky practices and games in the way when trying to work out his new work schedule at the 7-11. Couldn't have done it without you Andy Reid!
For those of you who know me, prepare to get to know me better. For those of you who don't, prepare to get weirded out. So I have some unfortunate habits when I sleep. You name it, I do it. In the past I have sleepwalked, snored up something fierce, ground my teeth, drooled enough saliva to float a battleship, slept with my eyes open, and, most frequently, sleeptalked. I have had conversations with my brother when he comes into the room after I have fallen asleep. I refer to actual events that will take place in ways that make absolutely no sense. Here is the one pre-college quote I can recall.
"Me and [my brother] are working together so all you people on the right better watch out!"
This was the day before my first day on the job at a snack bar with my brother. Now that I'm at college, I have an awesome roommate who seems to never ever go to sleep. So he has taken it upon himself to record my sleeptalks. Not counting all of the times he has either forgotten what I said or misplaced his post-it notes, I have a line of 7 notes of mini-conversations I have had while asleep or pretty much 99% unconscious. I'll just give some highlights, a lot of them are pretty dumb, much like what I say when I'm awake.
"I do not see one from here. Then again, I don't have glasses on. Over."
"Wonder? Wonder? I thought wind never won websites!"
"[Roommate's name], you can use my water bottle to get some water if you want."
And finally, a real conversation this week:
Me: "Do you think induction nights are for young people?"
Roommate: "What?"
Me: "I think [friend's name] is planning for something."
Roommate: "What?"
Me: "Dammit why am I talking to you about this?"
Roommate: "It's ok because I'm cool."
Me: "That's true."
So the conclusions we can draw from this:
Sorry, I know this is starting to get extremely long, but I have one special request for those of you who have gotten this far. Tuesday is my birthday. I'm not asking for presents, but ideas. I'm going to be pretty close to the court at the St. John's game and would like to make a sign including some of the following:
I'm going to get the basketball out of the way while it's fresh in my mind. Providence invoked the "Nobody Misses 35-foot 3-Pointers Against Syracuse" Rule repeatedly in the first half. Those guys really could not miss. However, Syracuse kind of couldn't either. Despite them making 10 3's in the first half from a combined distance of about 3 miles away, we were only down 5 at the half. Providence would've been beating the Boston Celtics the way they were playing. Scary good. Come the second half, though, things changed. After they made one more shot from out of state. Wait, they played in Rhode Island, so the entire state is contained in the halfcourt of the Providence basketball arena. Haha because Rhode Island is wicked small, right? Whatever, the point is that Cuse went on a couple of gigundo runs to take control. Rick Jackson was doing this (with his eyes closed, mind you):
And Andy Rautins was doing this (admittedly this wasn't a picture from tonight's game but you get the picture ;) ):
And Jim Boeheim was doing this:
I would like to take a moment to point out a certain pensive young gentleman dressed all in orange in the background who had a workman-like 7 point, 8 rebound night. Just sayin'. I used these pictures because they describe things so much better than I can. And since a picture says a thousand words, this is by far my longest blog. Thanks for sticking around despite my long windedness.Because, speaking of that young man in the above picture, he was involved in another contest of athleticism on Thursday. Against those guys we really don't like too much. Whose mascot is a made up word. Or, after checking dictionary.com, it may be a word after all. Check this out.
hoy·a
–noun
any shrubby climbing plant of the genus Hoya, of the milkweed family, esp. the wax plant, H. carnosa, a pot plant with waxy white flowers.
On a slightly less sports-like note, there has finally been someone who sees the glass as half-full. This awful period for the economy has been but one positive opinion away from being just "A break from that whole 'making money' nonsense." Well, finally somebody sees the light. In this man's eyes, the stock market is just resting. The housing market is planning its homecoming parade. Unemployment is the best thing that could happen to a person. Who is this mystery man? The chairman of the Federal Reserve Board, surely. If not that, a leading economist with the government's ear must be making these claims. Guess again. The savior of public opinion, the master of all things economic, is football coach Andy Reid. Upon releasing running back Brian Westbrook, he said the following:
"We're giving him the opportunity...to maximize his ability to go and get another job."
Just think about that for a second. Done? Ok. This is hands down one of the stupidest things that I have ever heard in my entire life. So Andy is doing Westbrook this huge favor. Westbrook really really wanted to get a job in addition to the whole starting for the Philadelphia Eagles thing, and now thanks to the Eagles he won't have so many pesky practices and games in the way when trying to work out his new work schedule at the 7-11. Couldn't have done it without you Andy Reid!
For those of you who know me, prepare to get to know me better. For those of you who don't, prepare to get weirded out. So I have some unfortunate habits when I sleep. You name it, I do it. In the past I have sleepwalked, snored up something fierce, ground my teeth, drooled enough saliva to float a battleship, slept with my eyes open, and, most frequently, sleeptalked. I have had conversations with my brother when he comes into the room after I have fallen asleep. I refer to actual events that will take place in ways that make absolutely no sense. Here is the one pre-college quote I can recall.
"Me and [my brother] are working together so all you people on the right better watch out!"
This was the day before my first day on the job at a snack bar with my brother. Now that I'm at college, I have an awesome roommate who seems to never ever go to sleep. So he has taken it upon himself to record my sleeptalks. Not counting all of the times he has either forgotten what I said or misplaced his post-it notes, I have a line of 7 notes of mini-conversations I have had while asleep or pretty much 99% unconscious. I'll just give some highlights, a lot of them are pretty dumb, much like what I say when I'm awake.
"I do not see one from here. Then again, I don't have glasses on. Over."
"Wonder? Wonder? I thought wind never won websites!"
"[Roommate's name], you can use my water bottle to get some water if you want."
And finally, a real conversation this week:
Me: "Do you think induction nights are for young people?"
Roommate: "What?"
Me: "I think [friend's name] is planning for something."
Roommate: "What?"
Me: "Dammit why am I talking to you about this?"
Roommate: "It's ok because I'm cool."
Me: "That's true."
So the conclusions we can draw from this:
- I have impeccable grammar
- I have a flair for alliteration
- I am extremely generous
- I am paranoid
Sorry, I know this is starting to get extremely long, but I have one special request for those of you who have gotten this far. Tuesday is my birthday. I'm not asking for presents, but ideas. I'm going to be pretty close to the court at the St. John's game and would like to make a sign including some of the following:
- It's my birthday (3/2)
- Kris Joseph and his number (32)
- Throw me a shoe
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Swarmed Under
I'm going to be up front with you. This post...is going to suck. It'll probably be the worst piece of writing I have ever had the misfortune of bringing forth to wreak its havoc on the good earth. As a matter of fact, it already is. But don't let that stop you from reading it!
This is going to have to be quick. It's writing this blog or getting enough sleep, and it's obvious which one I'm picking. So if I'm cranky tomorrow (today), then cut me some slack. The reason why this is such a godawful post (besides the fact that I keep planting the idea in your head) is that I just had my first experience of the harbinger of everlasting torture and boredom that is my Econ homework. I worked on it for about an hour. I got part a done pretty quickly...only 10 minutes or so. Then I spent the next 50 minutes putting numbers for 31 observations into a spreadsheet. I'm talking literally a spreadsheet. Like, a piece of looseleaf paper that I had spread out on my desk. No Excel allowed for this assignment. And, as an added bonus, all of the numbers (calculated with the dinkiest four function calculator you'd ever seen) must be carried out to 4 decimal places. So, now, long story short, I'm almost done with part b. Only 5 more parts to go. Due Friday. At noon. And I'm at work from 9-12:30. So I need to hand it in beforehand. In the snow. Barefoot. Uphill both ways. Broken glass everywhere. Subzero temperatures. Passing bears attempting to maul me at every turn. It's gonna be fun, I'm looking forward to it.
Now to some quick Cuse basketball updates. It was a tale of two Kris Josephs this past week. Kind of. Kris played pretty poorly for the first 35 minutes of last Wednesday's UConn game. Missed a ton of shots. Turned the ball over a few times. Played lackadaisical defense. Hoooowever, the last 5 minutes featured Kris as a lockdown defender and as a rebounding machine. And, as a bonus, with the game on the line, he made 4 straight free throws in the last 30 seconds to seal the deal. Cuse wins, UConn doesn't. Just the way things should be.
Fast forward to Cuse Louisville. Nobody goes for Cuse on offense. We couldn't have score a basket if it were the size of the referee that everyone wanted so badly to punch. Kris missed layup after layup, but for some reason was a flawless 2-for-2 with his jumpshots. I had no idea what was happening. But, we lost. No offense+no rebounding+intentional fouls = 30,000 very disappointed Cuse fans.
I apologize for the brevity of this post. And its lack of content. And humor. And pretty much everything I try to get out of this blog for you guys. So bear with me, when I don't have the worst homework assignment in the world to do, I'll do better. Next week maybe? (fingers crossed)
This is going to have to be quick. It's writing this blog or getting enough sleep, and it's obvious which one I'm picking. So if I'm cranky tomorrow (today), then cut me some slack. The reason why this is such a godawful post (besides the fact that I keep planting the idea in your head) is that I just had my first experience of the harbinger of everlasting torture and boredom that is my Econ homework. I worked on it for about an hour. I got part a done pretty quickly...only 10 minutes or so. Then I spent the next 50 minutes putting numbers for 31 observations into a spreadsheet. I'm talking literally a spreadsheet. Like, a piece of looseleaf paper that I had spread out on my desk. No Excel allowed for this assignment. And, as an added bonus, all of the numbers (calculated with the dinkiest four function calculator you'd ever seen) must be carried out to 4 decimal places. So, now, long story short, I'm almost done with part b. Only 5 more parts to go. Due Friday. At noon. And I'm at work from 9-12:30. So I need to hand it in beforehand. In the snow. Barefoot. Uphill both ways. Broken glass everywhere. Subzero temperatures. Passing bears attempting to maul me at every turn. It's gonna be fun, I'm looking forward to it.
Now to some quick Cuse basketball updates. It was a tale of two Kris Josephs this past week. Kind of. Kris played pretty poorly for the first 35 minutes of last Wednesday's UConn game. Missed a ton of shots. Turned the ball over a few times. Played lackadaisical defense. Hoooowever, the last 5 minutes featured Kris as a lockdown defender and as a rebounding machine. And, as a bonus, with the game on the line, he made 4 straight free throws in the last 30 seconds to seal the deal. Cuse wins, UConn doesn't. Just the way things should be.
Fast forward to Cuse Louisville. Nobody goes for Cuse on offense. We couldn't have score a basket if it were the size of the referee that everyone wanted so badly to punch. Kris missed layup after layup, but for some reason was a flawless 2-for-2 with his jumpshots. I had no idea what was happening. But, we lost. No offense+no rebounding+intentional fouls = 30,000 very disappointed Cuse fans.
I apologize for the brevity of this post. And its lack of content. And humor. And pretty much everything I try to get out of this blog for you guys. So bear with me, when I don't have the worst homework assignment in the world to do, I'll do better. Next week maybe? (fingers crossed)
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Best. Day. Ever. (And More!)
So it seems like forever since I posted last. I guess it's only been a week. It feels this way because literally the day after I wrote on Tuesday, I had the Best. Day. Ever. For those of you who saw my Facebook status and spent the entire week dying to find out what transpired during those amazing 24 hours, I apologize. I am a victim of my circumstances and the fact that each week has only 7 days. I'm sorry, if I could change that, I would, but in case you hadn't noticed, I didn't invent the calendar.
So here it is. The rundown of the four things that Perfect Storm-ed my last Wednesday into my Best. Day. Ever. Don't knock them if they don't seem like good reasons. Because they are. So deal with it. Apologies to those who I already bothered with this narrative in person.
1. It was chicken nugget day.
This may look like something a second grader would write down, but seriously, chicken nuggets are amazing no matter where they are made. And this includes school dining halls. What's more, the Syracuse University Food Services conspired against me this semester. What is by far my busiest and most stressful semester had been thus far bereft of the sublime goodness that is chicken nuggets. But, what do you know, the first time I got them was last Wednesday. And I chowed down, don't you worry.
2. I [obtained] a bottle of ketchup.
Everyone knows chicken nuggets are only as good as the ketchup they are drenched in. Well, the new Ernie Davis dining hall is a little bit lackluster in the ketchup department. Meaning- only about 25% of tables usually have bottles of ketchup on them and most are about 10% full. For all you math majors out there, that's 2.5% of the full capacity of Ernie Davis ketchup dispensers. Well, not true on this, the Best. Day. Ever. Every table, as far as the eye can see, had been blessed with the presence of a full bottle of ketchup. Score.
3. Subway for dinner (the company wasn't bad either)
Everyone's gotta love Subway. $5 for a wicked awesome foot long sub. Delicious bread, delectable ingredients, that intoxicating aroma you can smell from blocks away. It wasn't on par with chicken nuggets, but it was a good second act. And, to make matters even more awesome, I got to chill with 3 of my bestest friends!
4. You'll never guess who I saw...again!
That's right. Kris Joseph. Funny how these things work out. I'm running late for class, can't cross the street because an endless conga-line of cars is going past, seems like things aren't going my way. Well, who should walk by (surrounded by the ladies and talking on his cell phone) but my man KJ 3-2. I know that I can't blow this, my second opportunity to talk to Kris, so I think of something to say and I think of it right quick. Here's the sterling dialogue I shared with Kris "TGBPWHEOWEL" Joseph (you may see some parallels between this conversation and the one I entered into with Rick Jackson).
Me- "You da man, Kris!"
Kris- "Thanks man."
Yep, pretty sure every basketball player has been prepped by Jim Boeheim to say "Thanks man" to any crazy fan who talks to them on campus. What a moment, what a moment. Best. Day. Ever.
I'm looking at the title now and am just realizing that I promised And More! in addition to Best. Day. Ever. Well, I could talk about the Super Bowl, but that's old news. And the commercials were sub-par to boot. This is how Super Bowl commercials should be:
Those were the days. Hidden on that day of that marginally important football game was a Syracuse basketball game. Long story short, the headline on ESPN.com was
So here it is. The rundown of the four things that Perfect Storm-ed my last Wednesday into my Best. Day. Ever. Don't knock them if they don't seem like good reasons. Because they are. So deal with it. Apologies to those who I already bothered with this narrative in person.
1. It was chicken nugget day.
This may look like something a second grader would write down, but seriously, chicken nuggets are amazing no matter where they are made. And this includes school dining halls. What's more, the Syracuse University Food Services conspired against me this semester. What is by far my busiest and most stressful semester had been thus far bereft of the sublime goodness that is chicken nuggets. But, what do you know, the first time I got them was last Wednesday. And I chowed down, don't you worry.
2. I [obtained] a bottle of ketchup.
Everyone knows chicken nuggets are only as good as the ketchup they are drenched in. Well, the new Ernie Davis dining hall is a little bit lackluster in the ketchup department. Meaning- only about 25% of tables usually have bottles of ketchup on them and most are about 10% full. For all you math majors out there, that's 2.5% of the full capacity of Ernie Davis ketchup dispensers. Well, not true on this, the Best. Day. Ever. Every table, as far as the eye can see, had been blessed with the presence of a full bottle of ketchup. Score.
3. Subway for dinner (the company wasn't bad either)
Everyone's gotta love Subway. $5 for a wicked awesome foot long sub. Delicious bread, delectable ingredients, that intoxicating aroma you can smell from blocks away. It wasn't on par with chicken nuggets, but it was a good second act. And, to make matters even more awesome, I got to chill with 3 of my bestest friends!
4. You'll never guess who I saw...again!
That's right. Kris Joseph. Funny how these things work out. I'm running late for class, can't cross the street because an endless conga-line of cars is going past, seems like things aren't going my way. Well, who should walk by (surrounded by the ladies and talking on his cell phone) but my man KJ 3-2. I know that I can't blow this, my second opportunity to talk to Kris, so I think of something to say and I think of it right quick. Here's the sterling dialogue I shared with Kris "TGBPWHEOWEL" Joseph (you may see some parallels between this conversation and the one I entered into with Rick Jackson).
Me- "You da man, Kris!"
Kris- "Thanks man."
Yep, pretty sure every basketball player has been prepped by Jim Boeheim to say "Thanks man" to any crazy fan who talks to them on campus. What a moment, what a moment. Best. Day. Ever.
I'm looking at the title now and am just realizing that I promised And More! in addition to Best. Day. Ever. Well, I could talk about the Super Bowl, but that's old news. And the commercials were sub-par to boot. This is how Super Bowl commercials should be:
Those were the days. Hidden on that day of that marginally important football game was a Syracuse basketball game. Long story short, the headline on ESPN.com was
"Joseph's 3s spark Cuse's rally for 10th straight"
I love the way that looks. Well I suppose that's enough for now, I'm already 14 minutes overdue on posting (gasp!). I know I'm never late with these things, my b my b.Tuesday, February 2, 2010
The Kronicles of Kris Joseph
Hey everybody, it's the greatest rodent themed holiday around, Groundhog Day!
Hey everybody, it's the greatest rodent themed holiday around, Groundhog Day!
Hey everybody, it's the greatest rodent themed holiday around, Groundhog Day!
Haha get it? Come on, I had to make one joke because the movie is legen-wait for it...-DARY! Little known fact, Neil Patrick Harris makes a short lived cameo the first time Gobbler's Knob is shown in the movie Groundhog Day. (Is that true Tim?) No, of course not. But it sounds like it could totally be true, doesn't it? Ok I'm done with all that. We'll start with basketball and see where we go from there.
Saturday's game. We're coming off arguably our biggest win of the year, a thrashing of biggest rival Georgetown after going down 14-0 early. We head out to Chicago to play the 15th best team in the Big East, DePaul (who knew that DePaul played in Chicago?) Cuse is set for a huge win. I predicted 100 points and a 20 point game for my man Kris Joseph. Well, we got 59. And Kris had a gentleman's 15 points. Not quite how I imagined it playing out. Once again, Syracuse fell victim to the law of nature that every three taken by a Syracuse opponent goes in. I know it's like a broken record, but it keeps happening. DePaul did it, G-Town did it, Marquette did it, whoever we played before them probably did it too, I can't even remember. But, despite going down 33-15, Syracuse didn't give up. 16 points later, the score was 33-31. 35-31 at the half.
I'm going to take a break now and tell a little story of a young man. A young man named Tim and how his chance encounter could change the future of the Syracuse men's basketball program. He works in an office in the business school at Syracuse. One day, he is bringing something into his colleague's office (a colleague who makes about 50 times more than he does, but that's beside the point). As he passes the reception area, who would he see but a young gentleman who is fairly tall. Little bit of a beard on the chin. Sweat pants with the number 32 on them. Here's what's going through Tim's head at this time:
HOLY F---ING S--T, IT'S F---ING KRIS JOSEPH! (my apologies for Tim's mind's profanity).
His thoughts being as they were, nothing fit to say out loud came into his head. So, Tim ducked into his coworker's office to gather himself and to prevent a major meltdown in front of his bosses. Alas, by the time he collected himself, our hero was dismayed to realize that Kris had already left after signing a basketball poster hanging on the office wall. However, Tim had an inkling that Kris could see in his eyes that he was his #1 fan. Having finally met (but not really) his #1 fan, Kris went on his way with no more uncertainty of his popularity among Cuse students.
Back to the DePaul game. Second half. Cuse again starts to fall behind, this time by 9. They are on the brink, teetering on the edge of a cataclysmic (awesome word) loss that could disrupt their momentum and send the whole season spiraling out of control. Someone needed to step up. Someone needed to make a play. Someone did. Andy Rautins gets the ball near the top of the key, drawing two defenders. He quickly finds the open man. It's Kris Joseph! In rhythm, he steps into a 3-pointer and lets loose. In my eyes, the ball hangs in the air for an eternity. And an eternity more. It drops...through the hoop! Three points! Kris made his first three since playing North Carolina on November 20. All of a sudden, Cuse couldn't miss. Andy makes a 3, Scoop makes a three, Wes throws down a statement jam. Cuse goes on to win. All. Because. Of Kris.
Fast forward. Tonight's game. I wasn't looking forward to it, as it wasn't going to be a fun blowout or an exciting rivalry game. It's a mid-week night game against a mediocre opponent, nothing to write home about. Tim was wrong again. Sure the game could've been more exciting, Cuse ended up winning by 17. But there was plenty to yell and scream about. I was dancing in my seat. And I'll tell you why. Kris Joseph brought Groundhog Day to the Carrier Dome. He got fouled on a layup and made it anyway. He got fouled on a layup and made it anyway. He got fouled on a layup and made it anyway. He threw down a two handed jam. He threw down a two handed jam. In between, to my delight, he made a jump shot. He got an alley-oop and put it away with authority. The only thing he didn't do was make another three, as his attempt went in and out. All told, he had a career high 23 points and the world's biggest smile on his face. Ok, second biggest. The biggest was on a giant head Kris Joseph poster in the crowd (now the background on my phone in case you wanted to see it). Best. Game. Ever.
I really apologize to those who don't like sports all that much. I've really neglected you as of late. But as you can see, Kris Joseph should be and is the main focus of this post. He's mah boy! But oh, ok let's talk about something else for a sec. Let's talk about the iPad. So it's like this computer thingy that's good for media type stuff. And you can use your hands. So it's a cross between a VCR and a chicken wing? Well, let's say this right now. It is an incredible piece of technology. It's going to revolutionize the entire market. It's going to do for the tablet computer market what the iPod did for the music industry. All of that is a given. So, instead of all of this trivial drivel, people are talking about what's really important: how the name sounds like a feminine product. Come on, don't you think that's the real issue here? Seriously, on YouTube when you type in iPad, the search suggestions are as follows:
Top suggestion: iPad madtv
Second suggestion: iPad apple
More people are looking for the iPad comedy sketch done by Mad TV a couple years ago than for actual information on the iPad computer. Wow. Are you serious, America?
It's ok, though, even if the country is going in an inescapable downward spiral into a cultural black hole, Kris Joseph is playing the best basketball of his young career. So all is right with the world (besides that whole spiral thing that I mentioned a moment ago).
Hey everybody, it's the greatest rodent themed holiday around, Groundhog Day!
Hey everybody, it's the greatest rodent themed holiday around, Groundhog Day!
Haha get it? Come on, I had to make one joke because the movie is legen-wait for it...-DARY! Little known fact, Neil Patrick Harris makes a short lived cameo the first time Gobbler's Knob is shown in the movie Groundhog Day. (Is that true Tim?) No, of course not. But it sounds like it could totally be true, doesn't it? Ok I'm done with all that. We'll start with basketball and see where we go from there.
Saturday's game. We're coming off arguably our biggest win of the year, a thrashing of biggest rival Georgetown after going down 14-0 early. We head out to Chicago to play the 15th best team in the Big East, DePaul (who knew that DePaul played in Chicago?) Cuse is set for a huge win. I predicted 100 points and a 20 point game for my man Kris Joseph. Well, we got 59. And Kris had a gentleman's 15 points. Not quite how I imagined it playing out. Once again, Syracuse fell victim to the law of nature that every three taken by a Syracuse opponent goes in. I know it's like a broken record, but it keeps happening. DePaul did it, G-Town did it, Marquette did it, whoever we played before them probably did it too, I can't even remember. But, despite going down 33-15, Syracuse didn't give up. 16 points later, the score was 33-31. 35-31 at the half.
I'm going to take a break now and tell a little story of a young man. A young man named Tim and how his chance encounter could change the future of the Syracuse men's basketball program. He works in an office in the business school at Syracuse. One day, he is bringing something into his colleague's office (a colleague who makes about 50 times more than he does, but that's beside the point). As he passes the reception area, who would he see but a young gentleman who is fairly tall. Little bit of a beard on the chin. Sweat pants with the number 32 on them. Here's what's going through Tim's head at this time:
HOLY F---ING S--T, IT'S F---ING KRIS JOSEPH! (my apologies for Tim's mind's profanity).
His thoughts being as they were, nothing fit to say out loud came into his head. So, Tim ducked into his coworker's office to gather himself and to prevent a major meltdown in front of his bosses. Alas, by the time he collected himself, our hero was dismayed to realize that Kris had already left after signing a basketball poster hanging on the office wall. However, Tim had an inkling that Kris could see in his eyes that he was his #1 fan. Having finally met (but not really) his #1 fan, Kris went on his way with no more uncertainty of his popularity among Cuse students.
Back to the DePaul game. Second half. Cuse again starts to fall behind, this time by 9. They are on the brink, teetering on the edge of a cataclysmic (awesome word) loss that could disrupt their momentum and send the whole season spiraling out of control. Someone needed to step up. Someone needed to make a play. Someone did. Andy Rautins gets the ball near the top of the key, drawing two defenders. He quickly finds the open man. It's Kris Joseph! In rhythm, he steps into a 3-pointer and lets loose. In my eyes, the ball hangs in the air for an eternity. And an eternity more. It drops...through the hoop! Three points! Kris made his first three since playing North Carolina on November 20. All of a sudden, Cuse couldn't miss. Andy makes a 3, Scoop makes a three, Wes throws down a statement jam. Cuse goes on to win. All. Because. Of Kris.
Fast forward. Tonight's game. I wasn't looking forward to it, as it wasn't going to be a fun blowout or an exciting rivalry game. It's a mid-week night game against a mediocre opponent, nothing to write home about. Tim was wrong again. Sure the game could've been more exciting, Cuse ended up winning by 17. But there was plenty to yell and scream about. I was dancing in my seat. And I'll tell you why. Kris Joseph brought Groundhog Day to the Carrier Dome. He got fouled on a layup and made it anyway. He got fouled on a layup and made it anyway. He got fouled on a layup and made it anyway. He threw down a two handed jam. He threw down a two handed jam. In between, to my delight, he made a jump shot. He got an alley-oop and put it away with authority. The only thing he didn't do was make another three, as his attempt went in and out. All told, he had a career high 23 points and the world's biggest smile on his face. Ok, second biggest. The biggest was on a giant head Kris Joseph poster in the crowd (now the background on my phone in case you wanted to see it). Best. Game. Ever.
I really apologize to those who don't like sports all that much. I've really neglected you as of late. But as you can see, Kris Joseph should be and is the main focus of this post. He's mah boy! But oh, ok let's talk about something else for a sec. Let's talk about the iPad. So it's like this computer thingy that's good for media type stuff. And you can use your hands. So it's a cross between a VCR and a chicken wing? Well, let's say this right now. It is an incredible piece of technology. It's going to revolutionize the entire market. It's going to do for the tablet computer market what the iPod did for the music industry. All of that is a given. So, instead of all of this trivial drivel, people are talking about what's really important: how the name sounds like a feminine product. Come on, don't you think that's the real issue here? Seriously, on YouTube when you type in iPad, the search suggestions are as follows:
Top suggestion: iPad madtv
Second suggestion: iPad apple
More people are looking for the iPad comedy sketch done by Mad TV a couple years ago than for actual information on the iPad computer. Wow. Are you serious, America?
It's ok, though, even if the country is going in an inescapable downward spiral into a cultural black hole, Kris Joseph is playing the best basketball of his young career. So all is right with the world (besides that whole spiral thing that I mentioned a moment ago).
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
I Ate Dinner In 5 Seconds For This?!
Yesterday I had one of the experiences you know will be impossible to top. I attended my first Syracuse vs. Georgetown basketball game. The game where the animosity reaches biblical proportions. Well not quite, but Cuse fans were ready to start throwing rocks at every passing GTown fan. I'm pretty sure they used to do that in the old days when the Vandals played the Romans at lion killing or something. But seriously, nobody was spared. A family of Hoya fans was booed as they passed the students' section. The reason I say family is because I saw a mom. A dad. A 5 year old kid. I never thought I'd see the day when the "Asshole" chant was directed at a kindergartner by thousands of angry students. In the middle of the game an elderly woman was taken out of the stadium on a stretcher because she fainted. If she was wearing blue and gray I'm pretty sure she would've gotten booed too. I'm just trying to set the scene, but to be more accurate I have to go back a couple hours.
The time is 5:05. The place is Syracuse University. 3 intrepid students convene at a sanctuary of modern learning. Battle plans are hurriedly drawn for the coming 7:00 onslaught while one of them changes into battle attire. After a minimal rest, the fellowship departs in hopes of obtaining sustenance for the war brought on by invaders from the Village of George. Reaching an inn only slightly off the path to battle, the warriors hurriedly feast on legs of lamb and drink mead. They then depart at a frantic pace to reach the battlefield before all of the good spots in the ranks of the Orange Horde were occupied.
So in modern language: Two friends and I met at my dorm room. I put on a bunch of Cuse stuff. We went to the dining hall and ate mad fast. We went to the Dome in hopes of not having nosebleed seats. You're right, the first version sounded much better.
So on to the actual game. We were packed in like sardines because we managed to get in on the lower level along with about 100,000 other students (or so it seamed). We start the game yelling, we yell in the middle, we yell at the end. We yelled when GTown got out to a 14-0 lead on us, we yelled when the Cuse came storming back. We yelled when there was a foul. We yelled at the timeouts. We yelled when a little kid came out to mop the floor. We yelled when we made a good play. We yelled when the refs made a bad call. Just to sum up, we yelled. My throat was about to explode, yet I always felt I could be louder. The team needed me! So, in conclusion, the game was loud regardless of the score. It's just that sometimes it got extra loud. PS-Kris Joseph scored 15 points and is fast living up to the cool new nickname I gave him: Kris "The Greatest Basketball Player Who Has Ever or Will Ever Live" Joseph. I could shorten it a bit, I guess. Kris "TGBPWHEOWEL" Joseph.
One last note on that. Those jersey t-shirt things are selling like hotcakes. I saw a ton of them at the game. Regrettably, I only saw one Kris Joseph #32 shirt (mine's in the wash because I played pickup basketball in it). There were a bunch of Scoop Jardine #11 shirts, which is good because he deserves a good amount of credit for taking over point guard duties when our starter decides to fold like a lawn chair. What surprised me the second most was the numerous Theodore "Mookie" Jones #3 shirts. When given a choice, I decide not to dress like the ugliest man in college sports.
Believe it or not, this is a flattering picture of him. But anyway, on to the biggest surprise of the jersey shirts. A Nick Resavy #2 shirt was spotted not too far from me. Nick Resavy is a short, pudgy, white guy who hasn't gotten into a game in recent memory. Unlike Brandon Reese, he is not a fan favorite because he does not look like he is 12 years old. So, for grand totals, we have Kris Joseph on one hand- 10.2 points and 5.1 rebounds in 25.9 minutes per game for 21 games. On the other we have Nick Resavy- 0.3 points and 0.3 rebounds in 1.3 minutes per game for 8 games. The commonality: both had one jersey shirt present that I could observe at the game. Looks like KJ still has some fans to win over. Well, next game he will when he scores 20 points and picks up 9 rebounds. Quote me on that, it'll happen.
In non-sports news (but really it's still sports news), my SOC 318 (quantitative methods) class just got roughly 5693.23 times better. How's that for quantitative. It started with me sitting next to one of my top 3 favorite Cuse football players. Unfortunately, I think he's either dropped the class or has been struck with amnesia and is wandering around Peru or something because he only went to the first class. However, my angst (love that word) has been alleviated (that one too) and the malevolent (that one's my favorite word of all) presence of ennui (keeping it going with vocabulary far beyond what I need to use) is all but vanquished (last one, I promise). We got a new kid today. 6'9" forward, starting for the Syracuse Orange out of Philadelphia and now sitting behind me in sociology, Rick Jeeeeeeackson! I was so excited I couldn't concentrate on the class. Afterward, I walked by Rick as I was leaving and the following exchange took place:
Me: "Nice game, man."
Rick: "Thanks, man."
Easily the most fulfilling conversation I've had this year. Who knows? Maybe he needs a tutor. And I teach him sociology and he thinks I'm the coolest thing ever and introduces me to Kris Joseph. And I get to sit on the Cuse bench during the games. And I win $10 million. And the Broncos, Twins, Magic, and Orange (in football, basketball, and lacrosse) win national championships every year for the rest of forever. And they make ultimate an Olympic event and make me the captain. And I lead them to gold medals until I get too old to play and I settle down and set up a professional ultimate frisbee league. And all because Rick Jackson was in my SOC 318 class.
Contented sigh.
I can dream, can't I?
The time is 5:05. The place is Syracuse University. 3 intrepid students convene at a sanctuary of modern learning. Battle plans are hurriedly drawn for the coming 7:00 onslaught while one of them changes into battle attire. After a minimal rest, the fellowship departs in hopes of obtaining sustenance for the war brought on by invaders from the Village of George. Reaching an inn only slightly off the path to battle, the warriors hurriedly feast on legs of lamb and drink mead. They then depart at a frantic pace to reach the battlefield before all of the good spots in the ranks of the Orange Horde were occupied.
So in modern language: Two friends and I met at my dorm room. I put on a bunch of Cuse stuff. We went to the dining hall and ate mad fast. We went to the Dome in hopes of not having nosebleed seats. You're right, the first version sounded much better.
So on to the actual game. We were packed in like sardines because we managed to get in on the lower level along with about 100,000 other students (or so it seamed). We start the game yelling, we yell in the middle, we yell at the end. We yelled when GTown got out to a 14-0 lead on us, we yelled when the Cuse came storming back. We yelled when there was a foul. We yelled at the timeouts. We yelled when a little kid came out to mop the floor. We yelled when we made a good play. We yelled when the refs made a bad call. Just to sum up, we yelled. My throat was about to explode, yet I always felt I could be louder. The team needed me! So, in conclusion, the game was loud regardless of the score. It's just that sometimes it got extra loud. PS-Kris Joseph scored 15 points and is fast living up to the cool new nickname I gave him: Kris "The Greatest Basketball Player Who Has Ever or Will Ever Live" Joseph. I could shorten it a bit, I guess. Kris "TGBPWHEOWEL" Joseph.
One last note on that. Those jersey t-shirt things are selling like hotcakes. I saw a ton of them at the game. Regrettably, I only saw one Kris Joseph #32 shirt (mine's in the wash because I played pickup basketball in it). There were a bunch of Scoop Jardine #11 shirts, which is good because he deserves a good amount of credit for taking over point guard duties when our starter decides to fold like a lawn chair. What surprised me the second most was the numerous Theodore "Mookie" Jones #3 shirts. When given a choice, I decide not to dress like the ugliest man in college sports.
Believe it or not, this is a flattering picture of him. But anyway, on to the biggest surprise of the jersey shirts. A Nick Resavy #2 shirt was spotted not too far from me. Nick Resavy is a short, pudgy, white guy who hasn't gotten into a game in recent memory. Unlike Brandon Reese, he is not a fan favorite because he does not look like he is 12 years old. So, for grand totals, we have Kris Joseph on one hand- 10.2 points and 5.1 rebounds in 25.9 minutes per game for 21 games. On the other we have Nick Resavy- 0.3 points and 0.3 rebounds in 1.3 minutes per game for 8 games. The commonality: both had one jersey shirt present that I could observe at the game. Looks like KJ still has some fans to win over. Well, next game he will when he scores 20 points and picks up 9 rebounds. Quote me on that, it'll happen.In non-sports news (but really it's still sports news), my SOC 318 (quantitative methods) class just got roughly 5693.23 times better. How's that for quantitative. It started with me sitting next to one of my top 3 favorite Cuse football players. Unfortunately, I think he's either dropped the class or has been struck with amnesia and is wandering around Peru or something because he only went to the first class. However, my angst (love that word) has been alleviated (that one too) and the malevolent (that one's my favorite word of all) presence of ennui (keeping it going with vocabulary far beyond what I need to use) is all but vanquished (last one, I promise). We got a new kid today. 6'9" forward, starting for the Syracuse Orange out of Philadelphia and now sitting behind me in sociology, Rick Jeeeeeeackson! I was so excited I couldn't concentrate on the class. Afterward, I walked by Rick as I was leaving and the following exchange took place:
Me: "Nice game, man."
Rick: "Thanks, man."
Easily the most fulfilling conversation I've had this year. Who knows? Maybe he needs a tutor. And I teach him sociology and he thinks I'm the coolest thing ever and introduces me to Kris Joseph. And I get to sit on the Cuse bench during the games. And I win $10 million. And the Broncos, Twins, Magic, and Orange (in football, basketball, and lacrosse) win national championships every year for the rest of forever. And they make ultimate an Olympic event and make me the captain. And I lead them to gold medals until I get too old to play and I settle down and set up a professional ultimate frisbee league. And all because Rick Jackson was in my SOC 318 class.
Contented sigh.
I can dream, can't I?
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