Easy come, easy go (little high, little low)

That was quite a run we had there at #1. Gotta say, I'm very impressed with the timing, because the only game we won with that rank in the last 20+ years just happened to be on my birthday. I guess it turned out to be an even better present than I suspected. I'm getting Saturday's loss out of the way in one sentence though...just like ripping off a bandaid right? Louisvilleplayedperfectbasketballwithaveryemotionalfanbaseinthelastgameeverattheirhomearenaandtheresnowayanyoneinthecountrycould'vebeatenthemthewaytheywereplaying.
OW. That was a bit painful. Probably less painful than it is to read.

Well I don't really know where to go from here. I usually have at least 4 or 5 paragraphs to rave and rant about Kris Joseph and how awesome Syracuse is at pretty much everything...but we even lost at lacrosse this week! Well, there's something I've always wanted to try. You know those songs that college kids love? Yeah, the ones that pretty much all sound the same and have to do with irresponsible behavior unbecoming of a role model. I am going to translate the refrains of a few of those songs just for kicks. See if you can figure out what's what. And bear with me if it sucks.

First things first, let's try a really easy one.

Would any bystander care to dial the authorities?
A lady is spontaneously combusting...
I'm going to douse her with some water
Otherwise I fear that the structural integrity of this establishment is going to fail

Got it? Ok let's see what else I can find.

The type of rhythms and steps she is employing is overwhelming to me
I stop the task at which I am currently occupied to approach her
I search my mind for some prose to accurately compose a verbal portrait of her
Without calling her a prostitute (but I will anyway)

One more hippity hop song.

Don't give in to your natural impulses
Get just enough for yourself from that thing over there
A couple of big plants that are related
Wish that they had some ghosts living in them

Well, that was disappointing. I have to say I was expecting more from that section, weren't you? By this time, I'm really just stalling and trying to put a decent length post out there. Ok, idea. I apologize for taking the easy way out this week, but it's really not been one for me to write home about. So I will give you this valuable chance to take a look into my writing past and see the piece of writing that was a forerunner to this very blog. It was written in the summer of 2006, I believe, so some of the humor may be, shall we say, dated. But, I must pay homage to my roots...high school me. So enjoy.
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If you have been at home during the day at anytime, without anything better to do except maybe find a large building to jump off of, you have probably watched a game show. Right now, I’m going to concentrate on the fiercest offender of my right to no cruel and unusual punishments: the Price is Right. Bob Barker is old, gray, and somehow attractive to every single woman that comes to play. Without fail, he will receive at least 5 kisses on every show. I have no idea how he does this. He’s like 90, but is the second biggest womanizer I have ever seen (the first, of course, being Donald Trump). At the end of every show, he tells his audience to help control the pet population by having your pets spayed or neutered. I think Bob should consider that for himself, to help control the human population. Another sure thing on this program is that a 70-year-old woman will win either a pair of guitars or a pickup truck. This is a very scary thought. How many people on this show win 2 ton hunks of dangerous metal who don’t actually have valid driver’s licenses I hope to never find out. I wonder also how many people win trips to places they already live.

Bob Barker-“Mr. Kineke, you’ve just won a 6 night stay in the Clifton Park Best Western!”
Me-“Umm Bob? I live just down the street from there.”
Bob Barker-“Oh. Well, I suppose I can substitute this fake plastic vomit instead, as it holds about the same value.”

Other game shows not only have incompetent hosts, but contestants as well. Family Feud has 10 contestants from 2 families facing off. 8 of these people were probably eating paint chips as children. This was an actual answer given by a player.

Host-“Ok. We’re looking for the top 5 answers here. What is a city with a song named after it?”
Contestant-“Texas

And to make sure they don’t stick a shotgun in their mouth when they hear the “Stupid Answer” buzzer, everyone says “Good answer!” over and over again. I cannot stand those horrible common last name families. The Browns. The Smiths. The Johnsons. Sometimes, they go crazy and pick an exotic sounding one. The O’Briens. The Changs.

Another game show with astonishingly stupid contestants is Who Wants to be a Millionaire? A woman had to ask the audience what month the Super Bowl was in (before the dumb NFL people bumped it to February). People consistently walk away with $1,000 and sometimes even $0. This shocks me. In the good old days with Regis Philbin when at least one or two every month would win $1,000,000. I miss hearing Regis say, “Is that your final answer?” after a question like:

Which one of these is a number?
A) 6.5
B) Please send me home now
C) Tomato juice
D) Regis’s tie is distracting.

Right now, I believe I hear you saying: “But Tim, you do well on a game show in front of a national audience.” I say: “Possibly you are correct.” But, you don’t hear me saying that Texas is a city. Because it’s not.
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That's just a small sample of the piece I'm referring to. I'll save the rest for days when I have nothing to write about. Like today. Hope you enjoyed today's post, I sure did...except for the part where I let every single one of my readers down. But just like Syracuse basketball, you win some, you lose some.