The Kronicles of Kris Joseph

Hey everybody, it's the greatest rodent themed holiday around, Groundhog Day!

Hey everybody, it's the greatest rodent themed holiday around, Groundhog Day!

Hey everybody, it's the greatest rodent themed holiday around, Groundhog Day!

Haha get it? Come on, I had to make one joke because the movie is legen-wait for it...-DARY! Little known fact, Neil Patrick Harris makes a short lived cameo the first time Gobbler's Knob is shown in the movie Groundhog Day. (Is that true Tim?) No, of course not. But it sounds like it could totally be true, doesn't it? Ok I'm done with all that. We'll start with basketball and see where we go from there.

Saturday's game. We're coming off arguably our biggest win of the year, a thrashing of biggest rival Georgetown after going down 14-0 early. We head out to Chicago to play the 15th best team in the Big East, DePaul (who knew that DePaul played in Chicago?) Cuse is set for a huge win. I predicted 100 points and a 20 point game for my man Kris Joseph. Well, we got 59. And Kris had a gentleman's 15 points. Not quite how I imagined it playing out. Once again, Syracuse fell victim to the law of nature that every three taken by a Syracuse opponent goes in. I know it's like a broken record, but it keeps happening. DePaul did it, G-Town did it, Marquette did it, whoever we played before them probably did it too, I can't even remember. But, despite going down 33-15, Syracuse didn't give up. 16 points later, the score was 33-31. 35-31 at the half.

I'm going to take a break now and tell a little story of a young man. A young man named Tim and how his chance encounter could change the future of the Syracuse men's basketball program. He works in an office in the business school at Syracuse. One day, he is bringing something into his colleague's office (a colleague who makes about 50 times more than he does, but that's beside the point). As he passes the reception area, who would he see but a young gentleman who is fairly tall. Little bit of a beard on the chin. Sweat pants with the number 32 on them. Here's what's going through Tim's head at this time:

HOLY F---ING S--T, IT'S F---ING KRIS JOSEPH! (my apologies for Tim's mind's profanity).

His thoughts being as they were, nothing fit to say out loud came into his head. So, Tim ducked into his coworker's office to gather himself and to prevent a major meltdown in front of his bosses. Alas, by the time he collected himself, our hero was dismayed to realize that Kris had already left after signing a basketball poster hanging on the office wall. However, Tim had an inkling that Kris could see in his eyes that he was his #1 fan. Having finally met (but not really) his #1 fan, Kris went on his way with no more uncertainty of his popularity among Cuse students.

Back to the DePaul game. Second half. Cuse again starts to fall behind, this time by 9. They are on the brink, teetering on the edge of a cataclysmic (awesome word) loss that could disrupt their momentum and send the whole season spiraling out of control. Someone needed to step up. Someone needed to make a play. Someone did. Andy Rautins gets the ball near the top of the key, drawing two defenders. He quickly finds the open man. It's Kris Joseph! In rhythm, he steps into a 3-pointer and lets loose. In my eyes, the ball hangs in the air for an eternity. And an eternity more. It drops...through the hoop! Three points! Kris made his first three since playing North Carolina on November 20. All of a sudden, Cuse couldn't miss. Andy makes a 3, Scoop makes a three, Wes throws down a statement jam. Cuse goes on to win. All. Because. Of Kris.

Fast forward. Tonight's game. I wasn't looking forward to it, as it wasn't going to be a fun blowout or an exciting rivalry game. It's a mid-week night game against a mediocre opponent, nothing to write home about. Tim was wrong again. Sure the game could've been more exciting, Cuse ended up winning by 17. But there was plenty to yell and scream about. I was dancing in my seat. And I'll tell you why. Kris Joseph brought Groundhog Day to the Carrier Dome. He got fouled on a layup and made it anyway. He got fouled on a layup and made it anyway. He got fouled on a layup and made it anyway. He threw down a two handed jam. He threw down a two handed jam. In between, to my delight, he made a jump shot. He got an alley-oop and put it away with authority. The only thing he didn't do was make another three, as his attempt went in and out. All told, he had a career high 23 points and the world's biggest smile on his face. Ok, second biggest. The biggest was on a giant head Kris Joseph poster in the crowd (now the background on my phone in case you wanted to see it). Best. Game. Ever.

I really apologize to those who don't like sports all that much. I've really neglected you as of late. But as you can see, Kris Joseph should be and is the main focus of this post. He's mah boy! But oh, ok let's talk about something else for a sec. Let's talk about the iPad. So it's like this computer thingy that's good for media type stuff. And you can use your hands. So it's a cross between a VCR and a chicken wing? Well, let's say this right now. It is an incredible piece of technology. It's going to revolutionize the entire market. It's going to do for the tablet computer market what the iPod did for the music industry. All of that is a given. So, instead of all of this trivial drivel, people are talking about what's really important: how the name sounds like a feminine product. Come on, don't you think that's the real issue here? Seriously, on YouTube when you type in iPad, the search suggestions are as follows:

Top suggestion: iPad madtv
Second suggestion: iPad apple

More people are looking for the iPad comedy sketch done by Mad TV a couple years ago than for actual information on the iPad computer. Wow. Are you serious, America?

It's ok, though, even if the country is going in an inescapable downward spiral into a cultural black hole, Kris Joseph is playing the best basketball of his young career. So all is right with the world (besides that whole spiral thing that I mentioned a moment ago).