Now that that's over with, we can move on to more important news. My computer, as many of you may know, died about a week ago (and I survived on computer labs and my friend's computer-you know who you are). That's actually not accurate. It died repeatedly, coming back to life again and again for short periods of time, giving me false hope that I wouldn't have to get it fixed (like the two cell phones I've flooded in the past that magically healed themselves, but that's another story). But every time I turned it on, it would work for anywhere from five seconds to an hour and then give myself the proverbial slap in the face and the proverbial knee to the groin simultaneously by silently imploding upon itself in a flurry of seizure-inducing lights and a pattern of colors on the screen that I can only describe as the Devil's Safety Blanket. But, thanks to the miracles of modern technology and the ingenuity of humanity in general, my computer was fixed by the school and returned to me ON TIME. That's right. Was not expecting that.
Related sidebar: I ordered a textbook online at the beginning of the semester. August 31 to be exact. The website cheerfully let me know that I could expect it in 5-10 business days. A week went by. No book. I wasn't all that worried because a friend had the same book that I could borrow whenever we had work to do in the class. Another week goes by. No book. I'm starting to get a little worried, as more than 10 business days have passed. I send the following email:
I ordered the Supply Chain textbook 2 1/2 weeks ago and it has not yet arrived. When can I expect my book to get here?
I was asked to provide my order information, which I did immediately. No reply. A third week passes, like the gentle transition from a crisp fall to a silent winter. A gentle transition where no books arrive in the mail. I am still holding out for a reply from my polite email. How naive I was, believing that politeness could bring me my book in the dog eat dog world that is online textbook retailing. A fourth week passes. I got my book! Just kidding, I didn't. I decided to take action though, and sent another email:
I ordered this book on August 31. It has not arrived. There is no tracking number online, so I can only assume that the book has not even been shipped yet. This is unacceptable. If you do not contact me immediately in regards to the status of my order I will demand a full, immediate refund. This is the third email I have sent you. The first one you responded asking for my order information. The second one you ignored completely. Respond immediately.
And wouldn't you know it, I get a response no more than two hours later. As it turns out, the company only pays attention to those who give them a digital equivalent of a tongue lashing. And wouldn't you know it, the day I sent my angreemail, the book had already been delivered to my dorm (I made angreemail up, every time you use it you owe me a dollar). What a hilarious coincidence. But pay attention, here's where this pointlessly long and involved story somewhat has a connection to the blog. I lost all faith in anything using the term "such and such amount of business days." That's why it was such a big shock when my computer was returned on time.
Ok, I realize that this is a subpar blog so far, as much as it is a day late. I'm 0 for 2 so far. Not a good start. Just like the [insert sports team that you like here]. Oh snap, got you bad! Speaking of awful sports teams, the Syracuse Orange football team played possibly the worst half of football that I have ever witnessed in my life. Hooooowever, as you may know, they responded by making the best decision in the history of sports. No, make that the history of forever. Man decides to use fire to cook his food instead of getting salmonella all the time. The American colonies decide to rebel against Britain. Jeno Paulucci invents the pizza roll in 1968 (incidentally, check out the best website ever). All three of these were awesome decisions that I am 100% behind. But Syracuse topped them all on Saturday. It was so amazing that I'm going to tell it to you one word per sentence.
Greg. Paulus. Got Benched!!!!! Sorry, I was so excited I couldn't bear to split the last two words.
That's right. The Greg "A Bounce Pass is an Incompletion?" Paulus Era may just be at an end. Ryan "Supafly" Nassib was inserted as the quarterback after Paulus was 5 for 9 for 30 yards and an INT in the first half. Nassib promptly responded by throwing a picture perfect 50 yard touchdown to Mike Williams. No offense to Doug Marrone, but why haven't we been playing our not godawful quarterback? Sure playing Paulus is interesting, but so is a guy skiing into a tree. Neither of them end up to well. Nassib will hopefully keep playing and get ready for next season when Paulus can't even make our team worse by sitting on the bench in an unskillful way. In other news, Syracuse still lost by 21 points, allowed 34 points for the third time in a row, and most likely will not be doing the whole bowl thing at the end of the year. Whatever...[sniff]...bowl games are stupid anyway. We don't need them.
Hey, did anyone happen to see the Broncos-Patriots game on Sunday? No I'm not going to gloat about our obviously superior team and our incredible overtime victory and the fact that your defensive backs couldn't find a football in a stack of footballs. No, I won't mention any of those things. I'm more concerned with the Broncos throwback jerseys. You saw it near the top of the page. I'm obviously going to order a box of those suckers. I'm always short on rags to clean up vomit with in the dorm bathroom, and firestarters are a must-have for the holiday season. Apparently, though, they are a gateway through which we can peer into 1959 (careful, don't fall through it, 1959 was a rough year). Picture this: an upstart football team in a new league, trying to create a fearsome image that opponents would fear. They chose those uniforms because they could get them secondhand from the Tucson Copper Bowl College All-Star Game. True story. And, as if that wasn't enough, it is widely believed that the yellow color was an attempt to buy only one set of jerseys for both home and away. At least those vertically striped socks made the players look taller. And maybe some of the other teams thought they went to the wrong stadium because the Broncos looked like circus performers...or homeless people. Consequentially the other team would leave in search of the real team and end up forfeiting. Genius. But seriously, those jerseys are even worse than the Philadelphia Flying Swedes monstrosities.
You know what, for all of the apologies and boring stories, I think this post was a success. I put two hyperlinks in there, those make it look important. And look how long it is! You know what, forget what I said earlier. I don't apologize for it being late, calendars should revolve around me anyways. Tim's teams update-Cuse football falls to 2-4, the Twins get swept out of the playoffs quicker than you can say "You can never count out the Twins," and the Broncos improve to 5-0. I don't understand-every week every journalist who ever even thought about sports once is saying that the Broncos aren't for real. Well, here's a mini-tirade for you. We beat 3 teams who everyone thought sucked. One of them is 4-1 after beating the Ravens and the Steelers. The other two suck very much. But, we then beat the Cowboys, who everyone likes to say are good. Then, we beat the Patriots. Come on, now they're going to say that the Patriots aren't good this year. It seems that every team we beat seems to automatically get shunned by the media, instead of the Broncos getting some credit for having one of the best defenses in the league.
Ok, that's over with. Sorry for the sports focus this week, but you know me. Y'all come back real soon!
And wouldn't you know it, I get a response no more than two hours later. As it turns out, the company only pays attention to those who give them a digital equivalent of a tongue lashing. And wouldn't you know it, the day I sent my angreemail, the book had already been delivered to my dorm (I made angreemail up, every time you use it you owe me a dollar). What a hilarious coincidence. But pay attention, here's where this pointlessly long and involved story somewhat has a connection to the blog. I lost all faith in anything using the term "such and such amount of business days." That's why it was such a big shock when my computer was returned on time.
Ok, I realize that this is a subpar blog so far, as much as it is a day late. I'm 0 for 2 so far. Not a good start. Just like the [insert sports team that you like here]. Oh snap, got you bad! Speaking of awful sports teams, the Syracuse Orange football team played possibly the worst half of football that I have ever witnessed in my life. Hooooowever, as you may know, they responded by making the best decision in the history of sports. No, make that the history of forever. Man decides to use fire to cook his food instead of getting salmonella all the time. The American colonies decide to rebel against Britain. Jeno Paulucci invents the pizza roll in 1968 (incidentally, check out the best website ever). All three of these were awesome decisions that I am 100% behind. But Syracuse topped them all on Saturday. It was so amazing that I'm going to tell it to you one word per sentence.
Greg. Paulus. Got Benched!!!!! Sorry, I was so excited I couldn't bear to split the last two words.
That's right. The Greg "A Bounce Pass is an Incompletion?" Paulus Era may just be at an end. Ryan "Supafly" Nassib was inserted as the quarterback after Paulus was 5 for 9 for 30 yards and an INT in the first half. Nassib promptly responded by throwing a picture perfect 50 yard touchdown to Mike Williams. No offense to Doug Marrone, but why haven't we been playing our not godawful quarterback? Sure playing Paulus is interesting, but so is a guy skiing into a tree. Neither of them end up to well. Nassib will hopefully keep playing and get ready for next season when Paulus can't even make our team worse by sitting on the bench in an unskillful way. In other news, Syracuse still lost by 21 points, allowed 34 points for the third time in a row, and most likely will not be doing the whole bowl thing at the end of the year. Whatever...[sniff]...bowl games are stupid anyway. We don't need them.
Hey, did anyone happen to see the Broncos-Patriots game on Sunday? No I'm not going to gloat about our obviously superior team and our incredible overtime victory and the fact that your defensive backs couldn't find a football in a stack of footballs. No, I won't mention any of those things. I'm more concerned with the Broncos throwback jerseys. You saw it near the top of the page. I'm obviously going to order a box of those suckers. I'm always short on rags to clean up vomit with in the dorm bathroom, and firestarters are a must-have for the holiday season. Apparently, though, they are a gateway through which we can peer into 1959 (careful, don't fall through it, 1959 was a rough year). Picture this: an upstart football team in a new league, trying to create a fearsome image that opponents would fear. They chose those uniforms because they could get them secondhand from the Tucson Copper Bowl College All-Star Game. True story. And, as if that wasn't enough, it is widely believed that the yellow color was an attempt to buy only one set of jerseys for both home and away. At least those vertically striped socks made the players look taller. And maybe some of the other teams thought they went to the wrong stadium because the Broncos looked like circus performers...or homeless people. Consequentially the other team would leave in search of the real team and end up forfeiting. Genius. But seriously, those jerseys are even worse than the Philadelphia Flying Swedes monstrosities.
You know what, for all of the apologies and boring stories, I think this post was a success. I put two hyperlinks in there, those make it look important. And look how long it is! You know what, forget what I said earlier. I don't apologize for it being late, calendars should revolve around me anyways. Tim's teams update-Cuse football falls to 2-4, the Twins get swept out of the playoffs quicker than you can say "You can never count out the Twins," and the Broncos improve to 5-0. I don't understand-every week every journalist who ever even thought about sports once is saying that the Broncos aren't for real. Well, here's a mini-tirade for you. We beat 3 teams who everyone thought sucked. One of them is 4-1 after beating the Ravens and the Steelers. The other two suck very much. But, we then beat the Cowboys, who everyone likes to say are good. Then, we beat the Patriots. Come on, now they're going to say that the Patriots aren't good this year. It seems that every team we beat seems to automatically get shunned by the media, instead of the Broncos getting some credit for having one of the best defenses in the league.
Ok, that's over with. Sorry for the sports focus this week, but you know me. Y'all come back real soon!
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