Sports! Sports! Food! Sports!

It's Tuesday again. That can only mean one thing: one more blog to distract you from whatever test you were were preparing for, whatever homework you were doing, whatever cancer you were finding the cure for. While I don't advocate procrastination myself, feel free to read the greatest blog ever. I guarantee that at least 2 or 3 other people are doing the same thing. Oh, and those numbers are in millions by the way.

Due to a bet with a close friend, I recently tried (and failed miserably...twice) to spend a day without talking about sports. It made me realize how they've become integrated into my personality. I grew up with them...watching them, playing them, even inventing a few. If you're ever on the racquetball court, I can teach you G-ball and if you're on a playground maybe I'll challenge you to some freestyle swinging. Anyway, it's taught me some important things about myself. For one, I discovered that my personal hell is not being able to talk about sports and then being faced with an all day marathon of college basketball. Literally all day, the first game was at 12 AM, then at least one game every two hours until midnight tonight. I also learned that asking me not to talk about sports is basically asking me to change my personality. And it really really sucked. So I now have learned never to attempt even remotely to do the same thing to someone else. So I guess even though I failed (twice) I came out the other side a better person. Thanks to the person who challenged me, they know who they are.

Allllrighty then. That's out of the way. Now let's talk some sports! I'll make this nice and dramatic. I returned to my room from a study session Saturday afternoon. It was a day like any other, except that the Syracuse temperature was 5 or 6 times higher than it normally is this time of year. I turn on my computer to check on the Cuse football game. Lo and behold, despite losing their best player on both offense and defense, Syracuse had scrapped their way to a 9-3 lead with only 3 minutes to go. I turned on the TV to watch the end of the game. Alas, the computer was updating very slowly and the televised portion of the game showed me the ugly truth, akin to the Phantom of the Opera taking of his mask revealing his gruesome, disfigured face beneath. Louisville 10, Syracuse 9 with only a minute to go.

Syracuse gets the ball and instantly jumpstarts my hopes of a victory with a long kick return. Behold, hope! An 11 yard pass! More hope! Another comple...son of a B****!!!! What would transpire but a game ending interception. One look at the play and I knew in my heart who was to blame for the loss: not Greg Paulus. Wait...my keyboard must be broken. Let me type that again. Not Greg Paulus. Wow. I did not know that was possible. To blame for this loss: Mike Williams. Yes, the star receiver who quit the team a couple weeks ago. Here's the deal. On the interception, Paulus throws a good pass to Marcus Sales, wide receiver. Sales decides to let the ball go through his hands, and if that wasn't enough, he decides to reach down and tip it towards the oncoming defender. The defender catches the ball, game over. So. If Mike Williams were still on the team, there's no way Paulus looks anywhere else on the last drive of the game. Or, even if he did, Louisville would stack all 11 defenders on Williams and if someone else dropped a pass there would be nobody around to intercept it. Williams doesn't drop that pass, Syracuse goes on to have a chance to win. Mike, thanks a lot for this one. Chump.

Two closing thoughts on the game. First thought: A wise sage (aka my brother) pointed out to me something eerie. First game of the season: Greg Paulus ends Syracuse's promising beginning to a season with an interception. Last game: Syracuse's bowl hopes are completely eliminated with a Paulus interception. Second thought: The guy who intercepted the pass for Louisville was named Andrew Robinson. Yes, that's right. Same name as the guy we started at quarterback for the start of last year before benching him and eventually turning him into a tight end. Karma? Possibly.

Alright, that's the end of that. "That" being my hopes of Syracuse not sucking in football this year. In other interesting news, look at this video. Honestly, do I even have to comment on that? I think I should just let you enjoy the amazingness that is human stupidity. I mean seriously: Who does that?


I owe you some non-sports type stuff I guess. I mean, I was really on a roll with that but I suppose I can try. Sarah Palin's memoir, "Going Rogue" came out today. I really should try to stay away from the Sarah Palin jokes. I mean, they've pretty much been done to death by Tina Fey and everyone else who has seen Russia from their house...I shouldn't have done that. But ok one more joke.

Q: What's Sarah Palin's middle name?
A: I don't know, Alaska!

Now if you want to try it out at home, it works with pretty much any question about her. What's Sarah Palin's favorite ice cream? I don't know, Alaska! What's her husband's name? Why does she hate moose so much? What's her favorite magazine? Oh wait I know what's not her favorite magazine! (Hint: Her ex-son-in-law is posing in it). Too soon? Whatevs, I went for it.

I hope this blog is better than the Broncos' performance on Sunday. Seriously, who loses to the Redskins? (Shoutout to my brother who loves the Redskins). Cuse basketball is idle until Thursday so they couldn't cheer me up. Oh well, hope everyone has a great week and I'll write again next Tuesday. Which is right before my favorite holiday! Friday, November 27, National Flossing Day! Nah, just kidding. It's Thanksgiving. Peace out.